Michele Bachmann Shows Off Her Mad Domestic Goddess Skills For Lonely Shut-Ins Who Watch Daytime TV

Rep. Michele Bachmann has been quiet lately. Too quiet. So yr Wonkette decided to log on to the Google machine and find out how old Shelly is spending her remaining months as an actual elected official of what was once considered a great democracy.

Turns out, she hasn’t been doing much. Condemning the proposed National Women’s History Museum for celebrating “radical feminism,” arguing with Debbie Wasserman Schultz like girlfriends do...Oh, and winging out to godless Hollywood to show off her napkin-folding and pancake-making skills on “Home & Garden” on the Hallmark Channel.

If you can stomach it, above is eight minutes of One-L learning with host Cristina Ferrare and guest Ken Wingard how to host the perfect tea party. (Get it? Here, let us elbow you in the ribs a few hundred times until you get it.) We’ve got to admit, Michele seems rather friendly and a little quiet and reserved for her, and we would like to congratulate her on not condescendingly telling the gay San Francisco designer that she’s praying for his eternal soul or sneering when he mentions the Out of the Closet thrift store. Which is actually a pretty good thrift store.

And hey, those napkin-folding skills could come in handy someday if this blogging thing doesn’t work out and we go into the more lucrative field of “banquet waiter at insurance executive retirement dinners.”

The congresswoman is much more entertaining in the clip below, in which she shows what looks like the entire color spectrum of white people from the San Fernando Valley (plus Larry Elder) how to whip up a batch of her health-conscious apple pancakes while on meth. If you have ever wondered why Michele Bachmann has spent the last few years in Washington instead of hanging out in Minnesota taking care of her 397 foster children, this clip provides the answer: because she has the domestic skills of a fruit bat with a massive head injury. But now she’s retiring from Congress so she’ll have plenty more time to hang around the house and make pancakes that look like something Doktor Zoom might scrape off of Vlad the Impala’s carburetor to get it running.

Good luck having her around the house more, Bachmann family.

[ YouTube ]