Michele Bachmann's Analysis: Obama Hopes No One Watches Jobs Speech

The drugged circuit boards in Michele Bachmann's mental Windows Vista operating system ran some kind of analysis akin to a trapped fly trying to fight its way out of a jar of glue with net result computation that Barack Obama only wanted to schedule his originally-planned September 7 jobs speech at the same time as the California GOP debate so that no one would pay any attention to it. “Either a) he wants to distract the American people so they don’t watch him, or b) he doesn’t want the American people to hear what the next president of the United States is going to say,” Bachmann told a sparsely assembled gathering of nimrods in Iowa. See what she did there? In a normal "either/or" construction, the speaker is usually obligated to present two competing alternatives, but Michele's analysis is so sound she figured she'd offer the same theory twice. "Either he doesn't want anyone to watch, or he doesn't want anyone to pay attention!"

Good analysis, System Error Sister! The President will start scheduling all his major addresses under whatever mad GOP clown hump is airing on cable news from now on every third day and while America finally slips into an irreversible anusburger-induced coma. Maybe then Barack Obama's real socialist army takeover can begin.

From CNN:  

“Does this show maybe a little insecurity on the part of the president?” Bachmann asked.

The candidate spoke at the Des Moines stop on the Tea Party Express’ fifth national tour. The rally’s sparse attendance was unusual for a tea party rally - especially one attended by a presidential candidate as popular with activists as Bachmann.

Though there was no firm way to count the exact number in the audience, it was certainly not in the thousands or hundreds – and very likely was under 100.

Oh well, there are always 100 or so people who never tire of watching frozen computer screens, for fun. [ CNN ]