Michelle And Barack Obama Ruined Trump's Whole Night Last Night, Had Fun Doing It

And we were inside!

Aug 21, 2024

In the hall at the Democratic National Convention last night, in the press section, we heard a person say something to the effect of, “People say Trump is stale, isn’t this the fifth convention in a row of this Obama shit?” It’s entirely possible we missed the context, that the person was saying that other people were going to say that. Maybe we missed where they said, “I’d be a real asshole if I said, dot dot dot.”

We sneered anyway.

For one thing, our party hasn’t been taken over by Nazis and lunatics, so former presidents and first ladies do tend to stop by during conventions. It used to be kind of a thing both sides did. Not sure why every living former Republican president, vice president or nominee doesn’t do that anymore. It is a mystery journalists must one day unravel!

Anyway, if we got the context of all that completely wrong, we of course profusely apologize.

As we said, were in the United Center last night for the last couple hours of Tuesday’s programming at the DNC, and it was outstanding.

We got to make our own AI-enhanced Kamala crowd size, by aiming our iPhone at the crowd:

We also got to see future First ~~Daddy~~ Gentleman Doug Emhoff talk about what a nerd he was when he met Kamala — their 10-year wedding anniversary is tomorrow, the day she will address the convention and accept the nomination.

And oh boy, it was Obama night.

If you haven’t seen Michelle Obama’s soaring speech yet, do yourself a favor and watch. It might have been better than Barack’s. They both absolutely humiliated Trump, forcing him to watch a standing-room-only crowd of tens of thousands laugh at and mock him.

She talked about how Trump has long been intimidated by her and Barack, saying that “his limited, narrow view of the world made him feel threatened by the existence of two hard-working, highly educated, successful people who happen to be Black.”

She followed up with: “[W]ho’s going to tell him, that the job he is currently seeking might just be one of those Black jobs?”

So that made the crowd roar.

Likewise, another line that really landed in the house was when Michelle Obama said this:

“Kamala has shown her allegiance to this nation. Not by spewing anger and bitterness, but by living a life of service, and always pushing the doors of opportunity open to others.
“She understands that most of us will never be afforded the grace of failing forward. We will never benefit from the affirmative action of generational wealth.”

That part at the end. That’s a damned good line.

Both Michelle and Barack zeroed in on what a pathetic whiner Trump is. She said, “If things don’t go our way, we don’t have the luxury of whining or cheating others to get further ahead. No. We don’t get to change the rules so we always win.” And then she said, “If we see a mountain in front of us we don’t expect there to be an escalator there to take us to the top.”

People enjoyed that one.

As for Barack, he said things like this:

“Here’s a 78-year-old billionaire who has not stopped whining about his problems since he rode down his golden escalator nine years ago.”

And then he immediately made fun of Trump’s tiny little petty obsession with crowd sizes. But it was the thing he did with his hands that really sold it. Some have even suggested Obama was making a very subtle dick joke about Trump, allegedly.