40 Comments
User's avatar
Dashboard Buddha's avatar

$7 <strike>hamburger</strike> anusburger meals.

Fixed

Expand full comment
theUnnamable69 .'s avatar

Why am I in the Olive Garden with all these fat people?

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

I'm betting they have "wine product." (A horror I just learned about from a guest who felt a last-second obligation to bring a bottle, and grabbed it at the supermarket.)

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

But they told us it was OK to just let them die. What to do, what to do... I hate these moral dilemmas. (I can see why people just ditch the whole conscience thing and turn Republican.)

Expand full comment
Chris Grrr's avatar

I was mildly surprised no one went there immediately.

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Isn't <a href="http:\/\/www.sugarstacks.com\/img\/big_gulp.jpg" target="_blank">128 grams</a> the minimum daily requirement for America's yoots?

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

So long as it's less than 15 minutes away, you win!

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

"You want nuts on your hot fudge sundae?" "No thanks, I"m on a diet."

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

Millions are at risk of taking her advice! It's worse than 9/11, right??!!?!!!

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

"Anyone that loves Olive Garden or Red Lobster has forfeited the right to have their opinion taken seriously."

Now, why can't we apply this reasoning to anyone who loves Rick Perry's candidacy? "Sorry ma'am, but you're too dumb to vote. It was your civic duty to try, and we do appreciate your patriotism."

Expand full comment
π”…π”’π”’π”©π”·π”’π”Ÿπ”²π”Ÿπ”Ÿπ”ž's avatar

"Fucksacks" is a better match for the topology.

Expand full comment