Michelle Wolf Was Fucking Fabulous And Transcendent At The White House Correspondent’s Dinner, So Shut Up

Donald Trump did not attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner last night, for the second year in a row. He chose, instead, to have a rally of his own in Michigan like a big baby. He likes PRAISE, ok?

But even so, he had some thoughts on the dinner's host, Michelle Wolf, and expressed his desire to replace her with... Fox News personality Greg Gutfield.

Greg Gutfield is, for the record, not a comedian. Or funny.

Wolf, however, was wonderful and hilarious. She roasted the entire administration beautifully, she dragged the media for being complicit, and she ended the whole thing by saying "Flint still doesn't have clean water." It was perfect. I could not have asked for anything more.

Seriously, watch the whole thing.

There were lots of jokes about Trump being very broke, and Kellyanne Conway and Ivanka being terrible and Sarah Huckabee Sanders being Aunt Lydia from The Handmaid's tale. I especially liked this Ivanka jab.

“She was supposed to be an advocate for women, but it turns out she’s about as helpful to women as an empty box of tampons. She’s done nothing to satisfy women. So I guess, like father like daughter.”

Truer words!

Of course, Trump is not the only one who has a bug up his ass about Michelle Wolf's comments. Anti-PC conservatives have suddenly forgotten their entire ethos in order to rail against Wolf for having been too mean and hurting everyone's feelings and wanted the WHCD to apologize POST HASTE. It's all fun and "fuck your feelings" until someone comes for Sarah Huckabee Sanders!

. @mercedesschlapp : “Sarah Sanders has thick skin… She is one tough lady. I’m very honored to work with her.” pic.twitter.com/Y1x29sgrQv 

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 29, 2018 

I like how upset they are that the ELITE comedian came for poor commoner, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.

. @edhenry : “Sarah Sanders should get an apology from the White House Correspondents’ Association.” pic.twitter.com/k6o7c0FjX1 

— Fox News (@FoxNews) April 29, 2018 

 
 Saying my daughter is a liar is JUST LIKE racism.

 
 Sure, you can say that. It's not funny, but you can say it.

It sure is weird how one moment the Right is all "SJWs who don't like rape jokes are murdering comedy! SNOWWWWWWWWFLAKES!" about shit, and yet somehow they don't like it when comedy comes for them. Or, in the case of Donald Trump, cannot name an actual comedian. Oh, how they hate "political correctness" and "safe spaces" until their own feelings are hurt. Or until they are hungry for Freedom Fries.

This only proves my point that anger at "political correctness" from conservatives has always, first and foremost, been about protecting the delicate feelings of those who think they ought to have the right to demand people laugh at their bad racist jokes and never tell them they are being assholes. They don't care about the First Amendment or free speech, they care about getting to be huge assholes without anyone ever pointing that out. Which is why you don't see them joining the ACLU all that often.

Of course, conservatives were not the only ones upset about how mean Michelle Wolf was to poor Sarah Huckabee Sanders. A variety of beltway journalists and pundits also scrambled to find a way to come to her rescue -- being that they have to work with her and all. The thing they settled on is claiming that Wolf said something truly, truly horrible about Sarah Huckabee Sanders appearance. Just like a common Trump. 

Here is that thing.

“Sarah Sanders burns facts and then uses them to create the perfect smokey-eye. Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s lies. It's probably lies.”

I will give you a moment to fetch your smelling salts.

This Sanders stanning did not go over too well on the Twitter machine, when people pointed out that every one of these assholes has said worse things about people than "they do a perfect smokey eye."

This may seem petty, but I feel like I need to point out that Sarah Huckabee Sanders does not even do a smokey eye. I should know, because I do and I happen to be really good at it. If you want to really insult me, don't tell me I do I perfect smokey eye, because I will just say "Yes, I do! It helps to have super deepset eyes that make everything kinda smudgy anyway, but I will take the compliment nonetheless! I highly recommend Smashbox smudge pot and Stila eyeshadow and mascara."

If that were an actual sexist drag on her actual appearance, I would be the first one lining up to be all "Woah, uncalled for!" But it was a joke about her being a liar . Which she is! Yes, she was sitting around looking miserable while she was being roasted, but because she was being called a lying liar and an Aunt Lydia, not because Michelle Wolf said her make-up was great.

There's a ridiculous double standard for what is "outrageous" for the Left to do or say, and what is "outrageous" for the Right to do or say, which at this point is practically nothing. Apparently, we are supposed to be super nice and courteous to them, and give them platforms and not make fun of their lies, while they get to say any ol' vile thing that pops into their head. Trump says Nazis are "good people," Kevin Williamson can say he wants 1/4 of the women in this country hanged, and not publishing him is "censorship," but a comedian can't compliment Sarah Huckabee's Lieliner? That doesn't quite seem fair to me.

Michelle Wolf did a great job, and she got to call Sarah Huckabee a liar to her face. She lived the dream and good for her.

[ C-SPAN ]

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