30 Comments

"But if you believe that because you don't like something, it shouldn't exist, why don't you try not liking war, famine, child abuse, and stupidity?" Because all of those things are mentioned in a positive light in the Bibble.

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1. In the view of many historians, if Jesus had not been married as a young adult, it would have been his most noteworthy characteristic. He would have been "Jesus the Bachelor," not Jesus Son of Joseph or Jesus of Nazareth.

2. "Over 2,000 years"? Really, Huck, you only have about 6,000 years to work with here. If the New Testament's chronology is taken at face value, J.H.C. was death-penaltied in about 33 C.E. There weren't any "Christians" before then, of course. By the time it's been "more than 2,000 years" that Christians have been plying their trade, Presidents Clinton and Warren will both have completed their second terms.

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The most effective mnemonic uses visual images.

For Huck, picture a portly bass player standing by a popcorn maker with a squirrel rotating inside.

For Santorum, picture a leaking, frothy anus.

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<i>Paella Torquemada</i> is one of my favorite dishes.

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Having a beer with dick in his mouth sounds pretty challenging, actually.

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He doesn't know it's a cookbook?

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I really, really hope that when this case comes up before the Supreme Court, one of the Justices (preferably The Notorious RBG) asks these assholes, "Can you point out to me one single example of a citizen's rights having been infringed, in any state where same-sex marriage has been legal for some time?"

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<i>In other Huckabee news, he stopped by the politically powerful First Baptist Church of Jacksonville this weekend</i>

That explains the methane cloud over North Florida the last couple of days.

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Everything is every fucking thing.

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Oyster rumaki. HMMMMMMMMM.

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Fire-roasted.

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Holy shit. This came from Spooky Doktor Tom? Go figure.

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Also, too.

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I've done bacon-wrapped chicken livers, and bacon-wrapped oyster bits, and plain bacon-wrapped water chestnuts. And, for laughs, bacon-wrapped asparagus.

Shrimp sounds pretty good, you know?

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Too late.

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Disappointed. I was hoping for a bj or a kegstand, at the very least.

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