Mike Johnson Will Show You J6 Tapes Once He’s Done Drawing Dicks On The Terrorists’ Faces AKA Destroying The Evidence
Mike Johnson Will Show You J6 Tapes Once He’s Done Drawing Dicks On The Terrorists’ Faces AKA Destroying The Evidence
It's not terrorism when white fascist Christians do it.
Lunatic extremist House Speaker Mike Johnson is supposed to be releasing the SECRET January 6 tapes, the ones that don’t show a terrorist attack by MAGA pigfucks incited by Donald Trump to help overthrow the government. He’s got the SECRET tapes. The REAL ones. The tapes Mike Johnson has are full of patriots making out with Constitutions and Bibles and asking Capitol Police to show them how a bill becomes a law.
Just really nice tapes.
But he can’t show you them yet. He’s busy blurring out the faces of all the innocent patriotic Constitution Bible Kissers, and it’s taking FOREVER. He has to protect them from the tyrannical Joe Biden Justice Department that keeps indicting them like common terrorists, because Biden’s DOJ clearly doesn’t understand that if white Christian landowners do it, it’s not a crime.
Johnson explained yesterday that he’s very sorry it’s taking so long to blur out faces and draw mustaches and funny glasses on ‘em so Joe Biden can’t GIT ‘UM.
“As you know, we have to blur some of the faces of persons who participated in the events of that day because we don’t want them to be retaliated against and to be charged by the DOJ, and to have other concerns and problems. So, that’s a slow process to get it done; we’re working steadily on it. We’ve hired additional personnel to do that But all of those tapes ultimately will be out so everybody can see them and draw their own conclusions.”
‘Kay.
As Mediaite reminds us, Johnson had previously said all his secret tapes “provide millions of Americans, criminal defendants, public interest organizations, and the media an ability to see for themselves what happened that day, rather than having to rely upon the interpretation of a small group of government officials.”
Or their own lying eyes, if they happened to be watching the attacks play out live on television.
He said yesterday he wants to “trust the American people to reach their own conclusions.” Or, you know, whatever limited subset of the population Mike Johnson actually considers Americans. (All the fathers and sons who have an app to confess their devil boners to each other, you guys to the front!)
Of course it didn’t work when Kevin McCarthy gave all the tapes to Tucker, who spent literal days in his Unabomber she-shed trying to find footage to exonerate all Trump’s terror cell members.
Johnson’s got 44,000 hours of tape. He’s released 90. (Total patriots totally exonerated: zero.)
It’s also curious what kinds of evidence he feels like he needs to blur out. If the tapes really just showed a bunch of senior citizen church groups lined up shortest to tallest and walking in single-file lines so nobody gets separated from the group, you’d think the American people really could be trusted to assess that for themselves, and that there’d be true outrage if innocents were arrested for that?
Is there some reason most Americans clearly don’t give a fuck if the J6 terrorists rot in prison forever? HMMMM.
In related news, Donald Trump is making some fun court filings right now in the felony cases against him for trying to steal the election and overthrow the government. He’s DEMANDING to know about all the feds who secretly instigated the January 6 attacks. The ones MAGA white supremacists and incels on the internet message boards are always rubbing themselves raw about. From WaPo:
Trump is also suggesting that the government is withholding information on people known as “Fence Cutter Bulwark” and “Scaffold Commander” — nicknames given by conspiracy theorists to people they claim are government agents who instigated the Jan. 6 riot. Trump asked for “all documents regarding” Ray Epps, a supporter of the former president who has been falsely accused of being an undercover operative, and John Nichols, a liberal journalist in Wisconsin who right-wing media have suggested encouraged violence at the Capitol on behalf of the “deep state.” He also asked for any intelligence the government had on “Antifa,” on pipe bombs found near the Capitol on Jan. 6, and on “informants, cooperators [and] undercover agents … involved in the assistance, planning, or encouragement” of the events of that day.
LMAO.
On one hand, he’s obviously just throwing feces at the wall — like one of his Capitol attack pigs! — to see if something sticks.
On the other hand, it’s possible his failing brain believes some of that.
Which is funny, because in OTHER related news, Special Counsel Jack Smith made a filing yesterday about the beaucoups evidence he’s going to introduce at trial, some of which is specifically about all the rub-and-tugs and reacharounds Trump has given the J6 terrorists, and all the public statements indicating that he loves them and wants to be their husband.
Also that he incited their attacks.
Doubt he’d do that if he really thought they were all feds, but WHATEVER.
Fuck this guy, lock him up until he dies.
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It's already backfiring on him. Turns out that blurring the faces of the terrorists has set off a bunch of conspiracy crazies who are now freaking out that he's doing this to hide the identities of all the REAL criminals: FBI, CIA, BLM, Antifa, Illuminati, deep staters, etc.
I assume the endgame, as always, is to sew doubt and confusion among that mythical deciding factor Independents in the upcoming election. Why else go through all this? It shouldn't help those poor blurred fellows, because I'm assuming the Department of Justice already has all the same footage that Limp Johnson's planning to release.