Mike Pence Faked A Rage-Gasm At A Football Game? Cool Story Bro.

Mike Pence used the national anthem for a political stunt, everyone, and we are appalled. He went to see the Indianapolis Colts play the sports against the San Francisco 49ers, and when several 49ers kneeled during the national anthem, he VERY CONVINCINGLY got up in a huff and walked out of the stadium COMPLETELY SPONTANEOUSLY and NOT AT ALL AT THE DIRECTION OF THE PRESIDENT.

"ME! I DID THAT! I DID THAT! IT WAS ME!" said the baby man, because we are supposed to be impressed that he has a real live vice president dancing on strings, we guess? Should we even pay attention to this childish fuckery? (SPOILER: No, and that's why this piece is going to be short.)

Once Pence and his wife, "Mother," left the game, they (ALLEGEDLY) dry-humped on the plane back to Washington, and upon arrival Trump rewarded his vice president for being such a very good boy, by giving him one of those chew toys he really likes. (Shaped like the cross and filled with meaty goodness! It'll occupy him for HOURS!)

NBC's Peter Alexander tweeted that reporters were told to stick around because "there may be an early departure from the game," which was another signal that Pence faked the whole thing. Afterward, he issued a statement and a tweet about why he chose not to participate in the sacred American ritual of watching FOOOOOBAWWWWWWWW on Sunday, and it was the usual white conservative asshole bullshit where they pretend the players are protesting because they HATE OUR SOLDIERS. He also said neither he nor Donald Trump were willing to "dignify" such an event with their holy presence, as if the presence of either of those assholes ever "dignified" shit.

Here's a WaPo thing about what Pence and Mother just cost the taxpayers with their finely choreographed loser temper tantrum:

It costs the federal government about $43,000 an hour to fly Air Force Two, according to a 2012 estimate by the Air Force. Assuming a total flight time of six hours for the journey east and then west again, the tab for the flight alone would have topped $250,000.

And that's just the travel time. WaPo reminds us we also have to account for Pence's entourage and Secret Service Protection and ground support, all so some empty-headed white-haired dipshit can go to a football game, wait until everybody's looking at him, and then flood the stadium with crocodile tears about how scary black guys are hurting his feelings, because that's what Daddy instructed him to do.

It's a shame, because it looked like Pence and Mother were having such a good wholesome Christian time with each other:

Remarkably, Pence and Mother seem to have had an IDENTICAL good time at a Colts game in 2014:

Stupid fuckheads can't even fake a selfie correctly.

America will surely #NeverForget this expensive, poorly executed political stunt by the vice president. Can't wait to see what Trump gets his tail-wagging idiot puppy to do for him next. Spoiler two: It won't be "condemning another white supremacist rally in Charlottesville," because Richard Spencer did that Saturday night, and neither the president nor the vice president saw fit to care.

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