309 Comments
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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Robyn. No notes.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Taxes? That’s what they’re going with?

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Zyxomma's avatar

Fewer mouths to feed = lower taxes.

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Michael Bowen's avatar

It's possible that there is some sort of regulation that every ballot measure needs to have some sort of language on its impact on the state budget.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

I prefer to think it’s more fuckery, though you’re probably right.

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

Required line in most initiatives.

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Torby's mom's avatar

"if your doctor accidentally removes your liver instead of your spleen and you die (as happened recently in Florida)"

Jeezus. Fucking. Christ. That doctor better have his license suspended, and be prosecuted. Also, I'm never setting foot in Florida unless forced at gunpoint.

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Furiouser and Furiouser's avatar

Isn’t the liver also much larger than the spleen? I mean, I couldn’t find my way around an abdominal cavity, but I’d pretty much leave the big parts as they are. JFC is right.

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Torby's mom's avatar

Yes! I read the article and the surgeon claimed the spleen had doubled in size and migrated to the other side of the patient's body. It's like an episode of Mr. Bean where he somehow has to perform major surgery. Only this really happened!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I wonder if it was the Florida Surgeon General. He seems the type who would have those sorts of problems with medical procedures.

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Ellie Alive In 25's avatar

After the experience of friends (and family who live there voluntarily), I have nothing good to say about medical care in that State. I know it can happen everywhere, but....no. Just no.

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

Those doctors are not getting enough sleep. I think they get into that habit in medical school. I would prefer to have a doctor who took an extra year to finish medical school, but who is in the habit of sleeping adequately.

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Goonemeritus's avatar

Ideally they could educate a few more per year and spread the load among a larger group. But "Guild" behaviour would never allow it.

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Hunk's avatar

"We need to legalize cheating, because it's completely unfair that we can't win without it."

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NerdWithNoName's avatar

The liver/spleen mix up is the most shocking part of this story! If I looked them both up on Wikipedia I think I could tell a liver from a spleen (as opposed to shit from Shineola which is beyond me.)

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Even after Steve Martin explained it so succinctly?

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Khavrinen's avatar

Maybe it's not that they realize they can't win if they don't cheat, they just really, REALLY like cheating?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Maybe it's the only way they can get off. Considering their opinions on sex, they sure as hell aren't getting off that way.

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Dick Steele's avatar

Ashcroft's daddy was beaten by a dead guy in the election for governor. They're that bad.

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

"this measure may reduce local taxes"

woo hoo - I'm for it!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

No New Taxes!

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Wookiee Monster's avatar

I can tell you based on my recent experience that hospitals are paranoid about performing the wrong procedure on the wrong patient. They wouldn’t so much as take my temperature without me stating my name, date of birth, and what I was in for. They were always checking to make sure they had the right patient.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I had cataract surgery on my birthday. It was the same with every single person I interacted with from the moment I walked up to the receptionist desk. They'd ask my name and date of birth, bringing up the record, then their eyes would dart to the lower right-hand corner of the screen, and they'd say, "Happy birthday."

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[Redacted]'s avatar

Some countries establish administrative agencies to regulate the professions and trades. We in America rely upon trial lawyers and insurance companies. Hospitals, and doctors, are worried about the cost of insurance, which eats into profits.

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NerdWithNoName's avatar

My father, My elder brother, and his son all have the same name. One day they all needed medical attention for different ailment at the same hospital. That is why they ask you your birthday.

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[Redacted]'s avatar

There is a person who lives three miles from my home with the same first and last name as me and was born on the same day exactly one year before me. I do not have what I would consider to be a common name.

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Hooker P Tape skipping dipshit's avatar

I have to remember my name multiple times just donating blood!

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bcb's avatar

I'm proposing a new ballot referendum to ban all conservative policy. However, the ballot summary will say

"A yes vote shall keep murder illegal. A no vote will make murder legal."

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Satanic Pancake's avatar

"A non-vote will make murdering you in your sleep legal."

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Mississippi Lefty's avatar

John Ashcroft's son, as someone probably already noted downthread.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

How much of our money did he spend covering up Lady Justice's bare breasts?

The turd really doesn't fall far from the asshole.

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Mississippi Lefty's avatar

Yes, but remember he was sort of a good guy at times. Remember the "Hospital Showdown?" https://www.cato.org/blog/what-ashcroft-hospital-showdown-was-about

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Tony Seybert's avatar

It’s discriminatory against conservatives to say that they can’t lie about everything. They don’t really have very much else in their arsenal.

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Cat Cafe's avatar

Because what they're really saying is "We don't want women to have bodily autonomy, and we want to be able to harm or kill uppity women who stand up against us. We don't give a fuck about babies, life, abortion, or women. We hate women." And it's hard to write that without actually saying that. That's why they have to lie about things like babies, life, and abortion.

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MorganX's avatar

🥰

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Stulexington's avatar

Dear "real" Christians.

none of the 10 commandments, in particular the one about bearing false whiteness, contain an "except when it gets in the way of what I want" clause. The hell you are so quick to condemn others to is waiting for the liars who wrote this.

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CambridgeKnitter's avatar

Does "false whiteness" mean "passing"?

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Ward From Cali's avatar

They're not Christians. They're followers of a cult of power masquerading as Christians. Their Bible is not for reading or reflrction, it's for clubbing people over the head.

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Maelen Moonsinger's avatar

If they caught fire when they did that, their deity might have a shade more credibility.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

I'll second that.

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Tony Seybert's avatar

I’ll find it easier to say that they aren’t really christians when more of these real christians I keep hearing about stand up and make themselves heard enough that we don’t have to deal with these evil lying bags of shit every fucking election.

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Ward From Cali's avatar

Some do. Not enough. But I don't say things like this because I’m interested in clearing the good names of real Christians, I say it because I don't want fascists to “dignify” their vile ideology by pretending it has anything to do with God or Christ. Many of these assholes have never cracked a Bible or gone to church in their entire lives.

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No Quid Bro Code's avatar

But, but lying for Jesus is a holy duty for all MAGA Christians.

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VwllssWndr's avatar

Always with the moral relativism to justify their own actions.

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Trux Mint In Box's avatar

I love the tack on at the end about “it may lower taxes”

The whole thing reads like a book report written by an 8th grader who never read the book.

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Maelen Moonsinger's avatar

Actually, it's probably a relic of some wingnut brain fart that "every new law has to say how much it will cost," intended for keeping the blahs from getting any of their tax money. The delicious irony is that some low intelligence people will see that "lower taxes" and enthusiastically vote "yes" for reproductive freedom.

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Stulexington's avatar

Less taxpayers, less taxes I guess.

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