Mitch McConnell Hearts Gays, Except He Doesn't Because He Sucks At Life

We all know that every problem in America can be blamed on the liberals, with our absolute belief that man-on-dog-on-snowman sex should be taught as Biblically sanctioned in second grade classrooms. Let’s just face facts -- we liberals love us some LGBTQs, and we have no bigger champion in our fold than Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Wait, what? Per The Hill:  

Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) is taking fire from the Senate Conservatives Fund, which has endorsed his primary challenger Matt Bevin, for his support for a Kentucky judge that recently ruled the state must recognize same-sex marriages.

Welcome to the right side of history, Mitch! Your arranged marriage to a folding chair is scheduled for later this week. Let’s same-sexplore.

It appears that Mitch has joined our team because he recommended a judge to the federal bench, and now that judge has done something to cause butthurt for true conservatives:

McConnell recommended U.S. district judge John Heyburn to the federal bench in the early 1990s and, in testimony on his behalf, referred to him as a “progressive Republican” and an "excellent judicial appointment.” Heyburn ruled last month that Kentucky must recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states.

Well, it seems that we might have liked this early '90s Mitch McConnell. Recommending a progressive Republican to the bench? Then again, that was back when there were progressive Republicans.

In the radio ad, the people talking make sure to point out that “progressive” means “liberal,” so it is obvious that McConnell is doing Obama in the butt. We look forward to that campaign billboard.

Is McConnell really down with two chicks or two dudes tying the knot? Alas, no.

McConnell has said that he opposed the court’s decision on the issue.

“I am a traditionalist and support that position, but regardless of one’s personal view on the issue, we should be able to agree that only the people of Kentucky, through the legislative process, should have the authority to change the law, not the courts,” he told the Courier Journal, shortly after Heyburn issued his ruling.

Preach on, Mitch! If a state likeVirginiaKentucky wants to say thatinterracialgay marriage is wrong in 1967 2014 then damn right that the courts should not stick their noses in it! Can we get an amen?

[ The Hill ]

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