Mitch McConnell Wants Trump To Stop Bein' Silly So GOP Can Get Back To Fucking America

asshole

Well, if you'd like to know just how spineless and cowardly and unpatriotic and self-serving our Republicans are, look no further than Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, the ultimate lapdog for Republican power, whose wife currently works for the Trump administration. Here's what ol' Mitch thinks about Donald Trump sharing our sexxxiest classified secrets with the Russians:

I read the Washington Post story and I read General McMaster's response, which tends to refute the story, rebut the story.

Yes, but then Trump admitted that the story was basically correct, which tends to refute and rebut the dumb bullshit coming out of McConnell's mouth.

He continued:

I think we could do with a little less drama from the White House on a lot of things so that we can focus on our agenda, which is deregulations, tax reform, repealing and replacing Obamacare.

Boo hoo! Donald Trump is making Republicans sad because he's being SOOOO CRAZY (which nobody could have ever predicted!), and the GOP didn't sign up for this because they liked Trump, they did it because they thought they could use this opportunity to fulfill Paul Ryan's boyhood dreams of destroying the entire social safety net, so that poor people might get what they deserve, which is death. Everyone weep for the GOP, because the Pussgrab-In-Chief is making it hard for them to fuck America in its ass, by doing silly boy things like handing America's deepest secrets to our oldest enemy. WHIIIIIINE!

Trump is also presumably distracting McConnell from other very hard work he's doing, like joining the trolling campaign to install Merrick Garland as the head of the FBI, because Republicans actually think Democrats are stupid enough to give up Garland's lifetime seat on the DC Court of Appeals because we're still so butthurt about what ... (wait for it) ... FUCKING MITCH MCCONNELL did to Garland's Supreme Court appointment. Nice try, dick-biscuit!

But don't worry, as McConnell is not distracted from stuff he doesn't want to pay attention to in the first place, like news that, according to the Associated Press, a "senior European intelligence official" says that Trump leaking code word level intelligence like a common Russian pee hooker might make his country "stop sharing information with the United States," because that could put their own sources in danger. How odd, because Mike Morell, former acting director of the CIA, predicted that would happen on "CBS This Morning" just today! Moreover, the AP quotes a German lawmaker named Bernhard Lischka, who says that if our idiot president is leaking intelligence to enemy governments, "then Trump becomes a security risk for the entire western world."

We already knew our allies were likely withholding intelligence from the U.S., because they don't trust our president. This might just seal the deal for them, and that would make both our allies and American citizens far less safe. What a winner that Donald Trump is, and what a smart and strong national security Republican Mitch McConnell is being, by focusing on how Trump's silly "drama" distracts from McConnell's ability to literally hurt the American people.

QUICK SIDENOTE QUESTION: How many anti-American things must Donald Trump do before we stop assuming it's just because he's incompetent? While Trump's terrible brain and thin-skinned petulance are settled facts, we need to be honest about how Trump really might be a Russian intelligence asset, like we wrote about BEFORE THE FUCKING ELECTION, WHEN ALL OF THIS COULD HAVE STILL BEEN PREVENTED.

Anyway, Mitch McConnell is not worried about all that, he just wants to get back to making sure a bunch of Americans die for lack of healthcare. Can he please get back to doing that?

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[ Talking Points Memo / Associated Press ]