Discover more from Wonkette
Mitt Romney Like Hot Dog Best. Hamburger Second Best But Hot Dog Best.
Mittens Romney is man from Utah-chusetts who is running to be Republican person in Senate. Mittens tell voters about important meat issues, like which meats are trending topics in Mittens Romney's mouth:
“My favorite meat is hot dog, by the way. That is my favorite meat,” he told a gathering of supporters as they joined him recently for a casual dinner organized by his campaign. “My second favorite meat is hamburger. And, everyone says, oh, don’t you prefer steak? It’s like, I know steaks are great, but I like hot dog best, and I like hamburger next best.”
Mittens Romney tell voters meat choice rankings because he is straight shooter not afraid to stand up to President Big Macs and say "Big Macs exist sometimes but hot dogs exist more times in my mouth."
Mittens Romney is not political person who wants to be some kind of politician, and that is why he is running for Senate from Utah, where he lives occasionally:
“I’m not in this race because I have some political career I’m trying to foster. My political career is over,” Romney said recently, in an exchange with voters as he campaigned near Salt Lake City. “A lot of people go back and make politics their career and they want to get as many goodies as they possibly can get. I got all the goodies I possibly want.”
Mittens Romney has many goodies, like especially hot dogs. Nobody has to worry about Mittens Romney being whore for special interests, because Mittens only special interest is these five hot dogs he carries in his pocket all the time, do you want one? No you can't have one, those are for Mittens, get your own.
Mittens Romney does not like fish too much, because is fish food, or is fish the thing normal and well-adjusted wife Egg Romney wears on shirt?
Egg Romney's fish clothes is not for eating, hot dog is what Mittens will be having today, because hot dog is best food for Mittens. If Mittens Romney could fill car elevator with hot dogs and go up and down and up and down until Mormon God decides Mittens's life is over, he would do that, but instead he has to very easily win a Senate seat from Utah, even though he is "done with politics," ugh so boring, but anyway hot dogs is Mitt Romney's political platform.
Mittens Romney's platform for non-political hot dog Senate campaign is also that he does not do anal but is well known for his rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner," oh wait maybe we are getting our important political news wires crossed:
Here is a picture of hot dogs:
Here is additional picture of hot dogs:
Here is picture of James Franco crying because he is eating hamburgers, which are not best like hot dogs:
Oh hey, do you have any hot dogs? Mittens Romney just came to this kitchen to ask:
In summary and in conclusion, Mittens Romney For Being Inside Senate 2018! Will there be hot dogs in Senate? Oh yes there will be hot dogs, Mittens Romney will bring them, what do you think, that Mittens Romney is some kind of inhuman robot monster who will not bring hot dogs to Senate? Well let Mittens Romney tell you something and it is
(This post has been canceled until further notice.)
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.