254 Comments
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Ward From Cali's avatar

Gotta point out that Reagan's 1965 "Where's The Rest Of Me?" and a 2024 "Sometimes I Think Something May Be With Me" would encapsulate the entire history of modern Conservatism in just two political biography titles.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"I sometimes think something may be wrong with me."

Well, better late than never.

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Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Dok. Lies on top of lies on top of more lies.

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Birb-General of the US's avatar

"Hey, of course it was a limousine. You can't expect a 6 foot 8 basketball player to use a regular car? He just couldn't fit. It's gotta be a stretch limo."

/s

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Edgar Allen Shmoe's avatar

As an accountant, I can’t tell you how many times I have accidentally recorded an expense for, say, buying a computer or fixing a piece of equipment, as “strip club.” It happens, guys! Whoopsie!

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

If he wants me to believe that cockamamie story, he can tell me whose card the strip club was supposed to go on.

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Edgar Allen Shmoe's avatar

Using the wrong credit card is not an accounting error. It’s fraud. And he still has t explained why he was running around with the campaign credit card after he had already lost the race.

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Opalescent Riddles's avatar

“Why is it that white liberal women in this country are so hellbent on telling Black men in America what we should and shouldn’t think?”

Uh, sir? I was just saying that we're out of Horsey Sauce but if you wanted you could make your own from horseradish and mayo. And I asked if you wanted regular or large fries. So, neither then?

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Well extrapolated.

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NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

I’m a Believer that he Ain’t the Sharpest Tool in the Shed…so as for his chances of getting elected, he Might As Well Be Walkin’ on the Sun.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

"Wang Dang, Swee...."

No.

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SethTriggs's avatar

They run these clowns because this is what they think of Black people. This is what they think Black people can be. They run clowns like Byron Donalds, Herschel Walker, Mark Robinson et al. because these assholes are all crooks, they're all credulous and haven't got a lick of sense.

This is their funhouse mirror projection of Black people. And that's their new model. They get some stupid toadies in office if they win, and win or lose they can tell their asshole constituents that "we're not racist, we tried to nominate a Black guy."

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

They just want to be in the house.

Not the House of Representatives. The big house, with the columns and all the magnolias around it.

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Lefty Wright's avatar

And if they manage to win they will vote for whatever the MAGA leadership tells them to vote for.

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tempusfugit's avatar

"Intellectually"????!?!?!?!? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

This incredible tool of a taint-licking TOM isn't even up to room-temperature IQ numbers.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Even absolute zero is on the Kelvin scale, no?

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Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

"But Royce White is a MAGA hero and advocate of what he calls 'Smash-Mouth Populism,'”

Hey now, he's an all star

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Axomamma's avatar

"they know exactly how dangerous I am intellectually,”

And then he stabbed himself in the eye with a fork as he resumed eating his pizza.

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Rooster Cogburn's avatar

With chopsticks

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Rubberized spoon.

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Axomamma's avatar

Are you kidding? CHOPSTICKS ARE FROM CHYNA! CHYNA!

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Edith Prickly's avatar

That's a lovely feline in the header pic.

The subject of the article? POOP.

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Richard Von Busack's avatar

Clearly those strippers really worked for the money that night

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ames's avatar

The MN GOP tends to use non-winnable races as an excuse to clean less-electable and weirder candidates from its back bench. You wouldn't believe the characters they used to run against Jim Oberstar back in the day! They have candidates and politicians who are much more electible, which tells me that internal polling must be looking pretty grim.

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Antifa Commander's avatar

I Sometimes Think Something May Be Wrong With Me

Just takes a *little* bit of tinkering to fit it to the Rockwell song.

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skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Or indeed, a re-examination of one's life choices.

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ReSister For Life Callyson's avatar

"White suffers from anxiety and does not fly"

Yeah? John Madden didn't fly either. Instead of fleecing donors, however, Madden made a deal with Greyhound and got a custom bus in exchange for some endorsements and promo talks:

https://www.sportskeeda.com/nfl/why-john-madden-fly-exploring-legendary-nfl-hc-s-reason-traveling-bus#:~:text=Madden%20suffered%20debilitating%20claustrophobia%2C%20and,to%20change%20his%20travel%20methods.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Campaign donations, taxpayer money, they don't see that as real money, because it doesn't come out of their pockets.

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Harryr's avatar

Dennis Bergkamp (ex-footballer, now coach) doesn't fly either. He just drives or takes the train.

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RRJKR's avatar

Since they share the name, How about a deal with Rolls Royce?

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