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The Moonification Church also has some pretty intense procedures to brainwash their "converts" into the religion.

Mad Magazine parodied it best with a cartoon that shows two typical Moonies yelling at two puzzled American men, "Moony! Moony! Moony! Moony is your mind! Moony is your brain!"

And behind them stands a wartime war movie sadistic Japanese Army interrogator saying that cliche wartime war movie line, "You will give us the plans, Yank....or you will DIE!"

It was a great send-up of a scary church.

I'm old enough to remember the mass weddings in Madison Square Garden. Some of those couples couldn't even speak to each other. The Rev had picked them out, almost at random.

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In DC we also have the Epoch Times. Both make WaPo look pretty good.

But it isn’t really anything more than a NYT knockoff.

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$135 million doesn't sound like near enough. They need to dig deeper. I'm sure that's just the tip of the chopstick.

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I can't get over the fact that this is a case where a political assassination resulted in *good* things

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The Blessed Reverend certainly hope that these scribblings by Devil-Woman-Robyn do not discourage any of you loyal Wonks from making your monthly donations to The Fund. You may be sure as well that donations cannot be recalled or refunded to you! What would be the point of that! Now do you see how short sighted illogical and just plain wrong dammit this woman is!?

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Sorry, the money I would have donated to The Fund is already going to Devil-Woman-Robyn. You'll have to ask her pretty please to turn it over to you, because Paypal is too difficult to argue with.

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You may have inadvertently convinced me to worship that Devil-Woman-Robyn instead.

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An old joke from The Troubles has the question asked by the gunman: "Well then, are you Catholic Atheists or are you Protestant Atheists?" The funny thing (to me) is that the question makes sense. The most interesting sorts of people are Muslim Atheists. I've met a few.

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Cool. Now do Scientology.

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I was going to say that, but you said it earlier. Couldn't agree more.

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Speaking of cults, one of my wife’s sisters is trying to get her to go back to the LDS church. Apparently the church has been pushing hard to get folks to try to get “fallen” family members to re-join, and failing that, cut them out of their lives permanently. One suggested tactic is for a parent to tell a straying/lapsed child to either come back, or their inheritance is going to the church. Interesting that the church would push the financial angle after they got caught committing financial fraud.

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I was briefly employed by a member of the Moonies as an English tutor at an education center for new immigrant kids from East Asia. I had no idea what it was all about, just that the guy who ran the place paid me in cash. Looking back, there was Unification Church stuff all over the walls of the place, and the business was literally named after Sun Myung Moon, lol.

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seems to fit this story well-

Our Father high in heaven

Smile down upon your son

Who's busy with his money games

Or his women and his gun

Oh, Jesus save me...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phJf6kvZnzA

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𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐜𝐡 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐱 𝐞𝐱𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐭𝐬.

If only we could do this. I'd be willing to compromise and start with the Scientologists.

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Good. Do Scientology next. Then Joel Osteen and all the other “Prosperity” grifters. Then everyone else.

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Too bad we can't dissolute all the churches.

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Fuck.The.Moonies.

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I always got the Moonies mixed up with the Hare Krishnas

At any rate the first time I landed at LAX when in 11th grade I could not believe the rampant solicitations by all these different groups.

Then a few years later I watched AIRPLANE and realized they got it exactly right

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What does the Washington Times have to say about this? (Voice of the wrong since the 1980s.)

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I'm not sure how this involves Hunter Biden's penis, but I know James Comer will find out for us.

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James Comer is on it!

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On ... Hunter's penis?

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