255 Comments
User's avatar
kmblue187's avatar

"Pinched face Bible bangers" is a great description. They look like no one should have fun if they can possibly stop it.

Expand full comment
GrannysKnitting's avatar

the red states need to wake up to themselves a lot more quickly i'm afraid, or there will be no rights left to speak of

Expand full comment
Parakeetist's avatar

Go to Murfreesboro and hold hands, everyone!

Being an adult is legal!

Expand full comment
Bagels of Doom's avatar

with the gay legalized, it's a slippery slope to house flipping and nice looking neighborhoods.

Expand full comment
Nancy Naive's avatar

Still illegal to have an adulterous relationship in Virginia. Last enforced in Luray, Va. about 15 years ago. The defendant pled “guilty”, paid $250 fine, and did not file an appeal. The defendant was a lawyer.

Expand full comment
Virgiebeach's avatar

Oh Lordy -- Luray ? Guess their famous caverns just didn't fulfill the poor guy's erm, lust, for adventure. In my memories of Luray (and there are many; - best friend in the HS Dorms was from there. She went home a lot, & took me with her.) there seemed to be about the standard amount of foolng around, including the infidelity-type adultury. They just kept it a bit more out of public view. XD Cannot believe they EVER enforced that stupid law, heh.

Expand full comment
Iain Lovejoy's avatar

While it's obviously stupid to make private behaviour a matter of criminal law, there's at least more logic to an adultery law than anything against LGBT+ folk, since adultery at least has a victim in the person being cheated on, and you're breaking a legally-binding promise to them.

Expand full comment
James Baskin's avatar

Thanks for keeping the 'children' safe Craig. You're a regular prince of a human being.

Expand full comment
marcus816's avatar

Bless. His. Heart.

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Dok. I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday.

Expand full comment
Meccalopolis's avatar

You got anything with less stupidity?

This is America, pal

Expand full comment
NH is for 🦡🍄🐍's avatar

“This is an Arby’s sir…”

Expand full comment
Uncle Milburn's avatar

If God's a guy and you're banging the Bible, you just might be gay.

Expand full comment
Nemo's avatar

Or as is said by Jesus in the actual KJV bible, to either Rocky or Satan himself (sources vary): Get thee behind me, Satan!

Expand full comment
BearBint's avatar

And they officially liberated that charming pooch in the process. The corgi reminds me: Do the anti-queer idiots in some of these places realize that various members of the U.K.'s royal family are--and used to be, in the case of deceased types like the Queen Mum--rather queer friendly? Hell, Betty Windsor telegraphed her condolences to the great tenor Peter Pears after the death of his long-time guy (the equally great Benjamin Britten), and that was back in 1976.

Expand full comment
Anthony David's avatar

I grew up in the 1970s in rural Nebraska and every piece of intellectual property I was ever exposed to was straight. Yet, somehow (!!!) — gasp — I turned out gayer than Elton John’s fanny pack. It’s a miracle, I guess since I didn’t have books give me teh gay.

Expand full comment
Nemo's avatar

"Fanny" has an entirely different meaning in the UK. I'm struggling to figure out what Elton John's fanny pack might be. Maybe a little purse for a lap dancer to keep her tips in.

Expand full comment
Mexfiles's avatar

In Spanish we call them "cangaro" ("kangaroo")

Expand full comment
Uncle Milburn's avatar

Likely just an overreaction to all the straightness.

Expand full comment
Banana Hammer's avatar

We need a “triple like” feature here in the ‘stack. I read “gayer than Elton John’s fanny pack” to Mrs Hammer. She spit-taked her French martini. Thank you, Mr David, for kicking off our weekend right!

Expand full comment
Idiot Lite's avatar

Elton John's fanny pack, that's pretty gay.

Expand full comment
Nae Kings!'s avatar

But you had Elton!

Expand full comment
Cliff Hendroval's avatar

Back then Elton John and Freddie Mercury were straight as plumb lines.

Expand full comment
Uncle Milburn's avatar

Just like Paul Lynn and Liberace.

Expand full comment
Colbert Thorenson's avatar

"That remains the case today, no matter how badly some Christian Nationalists want to have Lawrence rolled back." Maybe they want it back because the fear of arrest makes the so much gay sex they are all having more exciting for them than the gay sex already is.

Expand full comment
Connor Fitzgerald's avatar

Ding!

This reminds me of the first time I saw AOT, K deployed in a sentence: I was reading about Roger Stone and asked my friend, "JC! How many of these racist bastards fantasize about watching their wives fuck black men?"

Or the time I was visiting Fort Worth and asked my dad, "I don't understand this city. Where are all the gay people at?"

"Well, son, most of them are married to women and have kids."

Expand full comment
Bigby's avatar

My mom told me recently that when she was PTO president back in the 70’s these kinds of creeps would approach her at meetings and sometimes call our house, but she never said anything at the time to us about it. Wanting book banning, wanting ‘effeminate’ *elementary school* students ‘punished’, wanted to bring back segregation (they started busing in POC only in the early-70’s) and my ‘favorite’; the school district introduced mentally challenged ‘adults’ (it feels like they were much older than I was but under 25 when I was say 10) to my elementary school; they didn’t want their children have to even look at 're***ds'. They lost every time and I chock it up to the first gen feminist women who ruled the PTO. But they got ‘smarter’ and more organized and until this last election had ‘won' shit like Central Bucks School District, a couple of districts over from mine.

Expand full comment
Curtis Tyree's avatar

"In conclusion, have a happy Thanksgiving next week, and don’t let the poultry-fucking bastards anywhere near your turkey."

This is why I always make a decoy turkey, just so I can figure out which family member to annoy.

Expand full comment
belfryo's avatar

Most “indecent behavior” issues can be fixed with stronger 'anti-peeping Tom' laws...

Expand full comment
El Duderino's avatar

I had a co-worker who told a story about getting arrested for violating a local ordinance against same-sex dancing in the 1960's. This was in Ohio

Expand full comment
Bigby's avatar

That’s really messed up because same sex people used to dance together all the time before the war. You can see it in POST ‘code’ films. Heck the prisoners in the 1953 film Stalag 17 danced together!

Expand full comment
Curtis Tyree's avatar

Please don't give our legislature any more ideas.....they're still trying to figure out ways to screw us over after their humiliation last week

Expand full comment