136 Comments
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clubseal's avatar

There's a joke somewhere in my brain about how "small government" is a metaphor for their penises, because of their size and how they want it all up in vaginas, but the punch line wouldn't come.

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

Besides, he also turned away a couple of white guys who “looked like gangsters”

Meaning what...fedoras, pinstriped double-breasted suits, black shirts and white ties, with flowers in their lapels? Carrying violin cases? Maybe with pencil mustaches?

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toomanyrappers's avatar

Maybe Clarissa can explain it all. ;)

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A Bashful Nobody's avatar

Don't forget the car wash!

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A Bashful Nobody's avatar

Ouch.....

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A Bashful Nobody's avatar

Does this mean I shouldn't wear my splendid waistcoat to the mall?

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Beaumarchais?'s avatar

FleshLight™ libulz!!1!!

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Beaumarchais?'s avatar

Actually, that would be the best job he's ever had.

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lesterthegiantape's avatar

JET FUEL CAN'T MELT STALE DREAMS

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Querolous's avatar

You don't even want to know what the discount code is for Kwanza.

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Mark in the IE's avatar

It's in there somewhere...

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Mark in the IE's avatar

"Two dollar three eighty"

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HeywoodJablomey's avatar

OT but watching Bill Mahr and Linda Chavez clearly just said "Moslems" about 4 times SMDH

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ViveLaProtestPayments's avatar

I thought shooting someone in a suicide vest was a surefire way to detonate the dang thing (according to my research which consists of watching NCIS reruns). This seems like a bad strategy unless you actually want the mall to blow up. Just sayin'.

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Marcinema's avatar

Yeah, but it's got, Electrolytes!

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