1176 Comments
User's avatar
Doktor Zoom's avatar

I realized about five minutes after this went up that I'd completely neglected to include my very moving True Story Of Part Of Why I Switched From Being A Literature Major To Being A Rhetoric Major In Gradual School, so here it is, pinned as an appendix, or an embroidered Letter even, to the story text:

In my second or third year of grad school I started realizing that I was enjoying teaching writing as an underpaid TA a lot more than I was enjoying PhD level literature studies. Part of what cinched it was when we were reading The Scarlet Letter, which I'd somehow never read before, go figure. One day in the U of Arizona library, I ran into a classmate (I forget his name; he was German and I want to call him Klaus, damn me) and joked, "Hey, you know what? I think Hester and Dimmesdale have something going on." A lame joke, to be sure, but deliberately so, because DUH.

Klaus or Gerhard or whatever just looked at me like I had observed that I am a big boy and I like big trucks, vroom! vroom! and he replied, "Vell, I suppose you *could* read it for the plot."

Dear reader, I have NO RAGRETS

Expand full comment
1st light's avatar

Germans are weird.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

How can you tell?

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

I was in a LTR with one for 7 years. 1st light is not wrong.

Expand full comment
HarryEagar's avatar

I prefer to read Mace's shirt for the simplest exegesis: Mace is fucking her pastor. End of story.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

In Bawston, that would be Mace is fucking her pastah.

Expand full comment
JR's avatar

His linguine must be satisfying her.

Expand full comment
Johnny Appleseed's avatar

A satisfied Republican? I've never heard of one.

Expand full comment
Caepan's avatar

That might explain her TMI speech at the National Prayer Breakfast.

Expand full comment
skinnercitycyclist's avatar

Oh, and thanks for reminding me of THAT.

Expand full comment
1st light's avatar

Excellent reading of the subtext.

Expand full comment
meh's avatar

I also enjoyed being a writing TA and spent years teaching at the Uni level - actually took an extra year of classes to stick around and be an advisor to a few students (it was the early nineties so there were no jobs, anyhow).

Wound up in tech. The road to that was, as the narrator in John Irving's "The Water-Method Man" says of his urinary tract, 'a narrow, winding road,' but at the end of the day, it's sort of worked out......I document my work, and occasionally add easter-egg prose to be discovered by the future.

Expand full comment
John Thorstensen's avatar

Well, from many cystoscopies I've learned that it's not THAT narrow, until it gets to your prostate, and then .... it's a bit of a squeeze.

I'll see myself out.

Expand full comment
Linda's Bitter Disappointment's avatar

When I was in college, I dated a guy who introduced me to the works of John Irving. Of course, the movie adaptation of Garp was out. I had bought a copy in the bookstore. He recommended Hotel New Hampshire, (awful terrible movie!), The 158-Pound Marriage and The Water Method Man. I've read most of his stuff. I read The Last Chairlift last spring. None of his books adapt well for the screen, IMO. Changing the ending of Garp? What they did to Owen Meany? I guess Cider House Rules was an okay adaptation.

I've pretty much read his books all my adult life.

Expand full comment
meh's avatar

Same here. The books are vastly better than the movies….

Expand full comment
Doktor Zoom's avatar

I remember a book review that said the author had something-or-other in their work "like John Irving has bears"

Expand full comment
Arolpin's avatar

I enjoyed the movie version of Hotel New Hampshire. Though I did watch it on mushrooms after seeing whatever Laurie Anderson film was out in 1987, with college friends, at another college, trying to have conversations with professors who were colleagues of my host’s father. So, yeah, Hotel New Hampshire was a nice, enjoyable movie. And it had SUE BEAR!!! (Maybe that makes more sense on ‘shrooms.)

Expand full comment
Doktor Zoom's avatar

HOME OF THE BRAVE!

One of the best movies that, for tangled copyright reasons, never legally showed up on DVD, but thank Crom somebody did a digital transfer (from the laserdisc, I *think*) to YouTube, which has been allowed to remain.

https://youtu.be/mua8Pr6uRso

Expand full comment
Arolpin's avatar

That is IT! Thank you! I don't remember it much, but I certainly remember the night.

Expand full comment
User's avatar
Comment deleted
Oct 12, 2023
Comment deleted
Expand full comment
calliecallie, aka pollyanna's avatar

I love thinking about books that were made into successful movies. I read Jaws as a teenager, and when the movie came out I thought it was quite brilliant that they let go of all the book's subplots and simply focused on the shark.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil is another one I felt good about when the movie came out, although I'm not really sure what the trick was now. Maybe they made the ending make more sense for me?

Also too, John Grisham's The Client! Say what you will about Susan Sarandon, but she and Tommy Lee Jones brought a real interesting subtext to that relationship that I did not get from the book, and it made the whole thing more interesting.

Actually, I feel like most of John Grisham's books translate well to film, and I don't think he wrote them just to make movie money. I think he wrote them so he could justify not being a lawyer any more.

Expand full comment
simpledinosaur's avatar

Well, you've to get the plot more or less right first before you can do anything else worthwhile with the text. That said, actually understanding the plot and certain other basic features of a text CAN get in the way of the occasional persnickety grad student's utterly brilliant, world-off-axis-tilting theory about what the text REALLY means. And that obstruction, in turn, might hinder the immediate and global political consequences that would follow naturally from general acceptance of said theory about said literary text. So there!

Expand full comment
Stan Dan Deliver's avatar

Me, 2005: I like computers! Yay networking, yay web design, yay hardware!

University, 2006: Yeah, no, you're going to learn programming and animation, that's all we got.

Me, 2007-2010: Boo! I am now a Social and Behavioral Science major, concentrating in Geographic Information Systems, with a Minor in Global Studies! Whar jobs??

Workforce, 2010: yeah, no, your college did GIS weird, so we can't help you.

Me, 2013: Well, I've been working with kids for 5 years now, maybe I can be a teacher?

Credential Program: Hell yeah you can! Let's throw you straight to the fuckin' wolves!

Me, 2014: Wait, people think I'm good at this??

Me, 2023: No, really, am I any good at this or not?

(I am, in fact, not very good at this, but I am insanely patient and willing work myself to the bone for low pay. Yay?)

NO REGRATS!!!

Expand full comment
(((Sedagive in Gehenna)))'s avatar

My college did not have majors, but I migrated from Literature to Women's Studies.

Because I've always been drawn to the front lines.

Expand full comment
GEM's avatar

We did not have Women's Studies in the 70's so I made up my own program using English Lit as a major and Humanities as a minor. Women through history. It was amazing, I loved it.

Expand full comment
Nuernburger's avatar

English major/philosophy minor. Worked in a machine shop to get through college. I work in manufacturing now and have been lucky enough to travel the world.

Expand full comment
ICC's avatar

I so get this. I did a double major in Literature and Psychology, realized how much they crossed over and realized that psychology was more interesting. I did some other stuff for a bit, but ultimately came back to psychology.

Expand full comment
Hamilton & The Crew's avatar

Well, I almost switched from electrical engineering to psychology but I was too techno-nerd and all of the psychology people I knew at the time were poors.

Expand full comment
Dave M's avatar

Even after it became clear that unless a student was actually interested in the subject and motivated to understand it, I was a lousy teacher, I soldiered on and completed the doctorate (in philosophy). Luckily, even though I dutifully applied for teaching jobs, I failed to get one, and so I too have none of what I guess we are calling ragrets. Although I do miss buttonholing colleagues and making them explain stuff to me, as it takes me rather longer to figure them out myself.

Expand full comment
Boojum's avatar

"Hosue Republican" is a misspelling of Hose Republican, which is a redundancy.

Expand full comment
RogationDays's avatar

My white whale of a great American book is …wait for it….Moby Dick. I have read maybe half???? However, I have never been able to finish it. The other big one is Ulysses…I keep trying once every ten years….but no…

Expand full comment
Tina Mouse's avatar

I can get over the whale slaughter. It freaks me out. No judging I get people love it, but I could not.

Expand full comment
diane's avatar

I love Moby Dick. I read it every few years.

Ulysses, though. Nope. No can do. Tried repeatedly.

Expand full comment
DeVoid's avatar

Dude was paid by the word/length of his submissions. It's chock-a-block with useless prose on the nature of whaling. It would be a fantastic book if it were edited down to like a third of its current size.

Expand full comment
HarryEagar's avatar

Or you could read The Encantadas.

I used to reread Moby every 3 or 4 years but The Encantadas is da bomb

Expand full comment
diane's avatar

Oh, I love all that "useless" prose. I guess some of it could go, but some of us like the detail.

Expand full comment
Broderie Anglaise's avatar

Tristram Shandy for me. Every year, I faithfully took it on holiday. Every year, I came back from holiday having faithfully read the first few pages and stopped dead In my sandy tracks.

Expand full comment
RogationDays's avatar

I persevered with Tristram! So much to love, actually. I punished myself with Pilgrim’s Progress…just because.

Expand full comment
Broderie Anglaise's avatar

You're a better man, woman, person, camera, TV than I am, Gunga Din.

Expand full comment
Oblio's Cap's avatar

Gravity's Rainbow is mine.

Expand full comment
RogationDays's avatar

My hubby loves that book…and I can’t get thru it!!!

Expand full comment
Otrame's avatar

Ha. I was about to say that. The first 1/3 or so was just enthralling. And then... for no reason that I can define, I stopped reading it.

And a few years later I tried again, with the same results.

And again, a few years after that. I have no idea why. I just know that first third is the fucking bomb.

Expand full comment
Pexas Teat's avatar

I fucking love Pynchon

Expand full comment
Otrame's avatar

I read V. when I was about 15, after a knock-down drag-out with the librarian during which my mother, bless her, said she wanted me to read whatever I wanted to read. I had just picked it at random, but the hassle with the librarian made sure I finished it.

Expand full comment
RogationDays's avatar

I loved V…but Gravity defeated me

Expand full comment
Ho͛gͦͥeͬ͒yeGr̰̻̜e̬̞̠x͔'s avatar

I loved V. I’ve had trouble with Gravity’s Rainbow.

Expand full comment
Revenant's avatar

Damn, Tristram Shandy and Gravity's Rainbow are among my favorite novels, and have reread them a couple-three times. Now, Mason & Dixon defeated me utterly, and Vineland was as vile and misogynistic a tract as any I have ever seen, dog save us from the rancid sexual fantasies of middle aged men who never quite got over being twelve years old and peeking at discarded copies of Hustler, reminiscent of John Barth (viz. Giles Goat Boy and A Floating Opera and The Sot Weed Factor) at his worst. The male gaze, indeed.

Expand full comment
Pexas Teat's avatar

I read Mason & Dixon twice in a summer.

I'm rereading Vineland again right now. It's an odd one, and I think some of the misogyny is also critique. But Pynchon doesn't write female characters very well, which is hardly unique to him.

Expand full comment
Pauly2coffees's avatar

My specialty was narratology. There is a book called Reading for the Plot by Peter Brooks. My dissertation was on the happy ending in Victorian fiction.

Expand full comment
Linda's Bitter Disappointment's avatar

I've never read Paradise Lost or Childe Harold's Pilgrimage and I never will. Nor have I read any of the Canterbury Tales. I read the Cliff Notes. I listened to the lectures and learned stuff, but I never read any of it.

Expand full comment
Angryoldman's avatar

I have read Paradise Lost, In Memoriam, as well as Mill's On Political Economy, and I'm a better man for it, but I'll be damned if I can tell you why.

Expand full comment
meh's avatar

I read all of it....realizing, in college, that my job was essentially reading books and then commenting on them made me realize that there were perfect ways to spend one's life, and that I was probably never going to make my living as a book critic for the NYT.

Expand full comment
(((Sedagive in Gehenna)))'s avatar

I just did my first public poetry reading, and it included excerpts from Childe Harold's Pilgrimage.

Speaking it I realized that Byron really was head-and-shoulders above most of his contemporaries; his language is purest, highest romance.

Sample it in little bits.

Expand full comment
Alpaca22's avatar

I read the Wife of Bath for my english A level. That was enough for me.

Expand full comment
Retired Superhero's avatar

The No Ragrets joke I actually saw in 2 different things the same year - it was in We’re the Millers and American Dad like 2 months apart.

Expand full comment
RogationDays's avatar

Thank you for sharing that…I really needed a laugh today

Expand full comment
randomnessliz's avatar

dang Rutger!

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

Lots of grifters and wingnut sites are selling cheap white t shirts with a red A on them. Nothing performative or unserious about that.

Expand full comment
DemoCat's avatar

Lots of grifters and wingnut sites are selling cheap white t shirts with a red A on them. Nothing performative or unserious about that.

Expand full comment
Connor Fitzgerald's avatar

" ...'Spouter Inn' tee from New Bedford. (No that didn’t happen, I made it all up.)"

Thank you for the clarification, so's I don't spend an hour googling. In this timeline, I can't safely assume anything's a joke anymore

Expand full comment
Mark L's avatar

A could Also stand for something else.

Just saying.....

Expand full comment
Pixeloid's avatar

Oh, "attention-seeking". And here I thought the "A" was for "asshole". If she's got "B" and "C" shirts, I already have thoughts about what those stand for.

Expand full comment
Robert Eckert's avatar

"I don’t care what the establishment throws at me." It sounds like she cares to an unhealthily obsessive degree.

Expand full comment
BlueStateLibel's avatar

I thought brunettes were supposed to be the smart ones? Maybe some glasses would help Nancy Mace; maybe nothing will.

BTW, one of the most amusing and interesting takes on the U.S. government is in the prologue to "The Scarlet Letter."

Expand full comment
Secret Agent Super Dragon's avatar

She's really surging ahead in this season of America's Next Top Sarah Palin

Expand full comment
Zap's avatar

Republicans don't do "reading". I'd guess most have no idea what the red letter is all about.

Expand full comment
mr_snarky's avatar

Clearly Mace wasn't getting enough attention...

Expand full comment
Zyxomma's avatar

Ta, Dok. I won't say what I think the A on Mace's shirt stands for, because it's obvious.

Expand full comment
Jeremiah Brewer's avatar

Waiting for the impending morning tabs, I like to read the previous days articles.

Oh my lord, I love Wet Leg. I missed the reference the first time. They’re all I listened to last summer. That band can rock the roof off. Kudos Dok.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iLX2WvGDbL0&pp=ygUVd2V0IGxlZyBjaGFpc2UgbG9uZ3Vl

Expand full comment
glenglish's avatar

Whar comment?

A is for "asshole".

Expand full comment
glenglish's avatar

A is for "asshole".

Expand full comment
Amy M Townsend's avatar

Excellent post! This gets me out of having to read to book right?

Expand full comment
Bobba Loo's avatar

The letter A is an appropriate symbol but not for the reason Hester M. thinks.

Expand full comment