# Nevada GOP Loser Files Hilarious Big Lie LOLsuit

### If you've gotta act like a jackass, at least make it funny, right?

The Big Lie loon squad is wilding out in Nevada, where Republican gubernatorial contender Joey Gilbert is suing half the state, alleging that the election was stolen from him by those dastardly machines. And he can prove it, too!

No, not by doing a recount — he's already paid for one of those, and it confirmed the original tally which put him eleven percent behind his rival Joe Lombardo. Now Gilbert is suing to get another hand recount, or to have the election tossed out because "the result as announced is a mathematical impossibility."

"When the votes as counted and announced, are statistically corrected, Mr. Gilbert will demonstrate with irrefutable geometric finality that he handily won the primary election for Republican gubernatorial nominee in the June 14, 2022 Primary Election in Nevada," the suit alleges.

Geometric finality — take that, libs!

See it's a very simple mathematical formula:

That is, when the precincts are plotted in 3D space, the x-axis being the election day percentage, the y-axis being the mail-in percentage, the z-axis being the early percentage, of a particular candidate against any other candidate in the same race, should form an elliptical cloud (a blimp shape), whose length (major axis) runs along the straight line x=y=z.

Yeah, they're going with the theory that it's UNPOSSIBLE for the early and in-person candidate percentages to vary. It's the same stupid argument Trump made when he accused Democrats of creating fake ballots in Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin because the mail-in ballots, which were counted during the night, went heavily for Biden. And not for nothing, but Steve Bannon was bragging four days before the 2020 election that they were going to exploit this variation between the early and same-day vote to declare victory on election night and then shut down the count.

Your Wonkette, intrepid middle-aged reporter, spent a good fifteen minutes squinting at this pile of decomposing entrails masquerading as a lawsuit, and if we have understood the thrust of this dickwaggle, Gilbert is claiming that the voting machines stole 55,000 votes from him and gave them to Governor Steve Sisolak, the sitting Democratic executive. Gilbert fails to explain why the machines would want to do this in a primary where Sisolak got 89 percent of the vote and beat his closest challenger by 121,000 votes. Particularly since the polls show Sisolak in a tight race with Lombardo, but beating Gilbert handily.

Gilbert is far too busy claiming that the "restored" vote totals make him the "real" Republican nominee. And by "restored," he means fed through his "geometrical algorithm" to get a number that shows him winning.

But since he brought those numbers up, let's have a little looksee, shall we?

It was originally reported in the 578 precincts that were analyzed (precincts that had less than 100 total ballots cast were excluded from the analysis) that Gilbert, Sisolak and Lombardo received 28304, 105816 and 55861 ballots respectively. After the restoration, we learn that Gilbert, Sisolak and Lombardo received 83812, 62102 and 44083 ballots respectively.

UH HUH.

Well, we are no mathematician, but by our arithmetic, 28,304 + 105,816 + 55,861 = 189,981. And 83,812 + 62,102 + 44,083 = 189,997. So Mr. Gilbert appears to have misplaced 16 ballots along the way. Maybe he should check in the pockets of his infallible restoration algorithm!

And while we're talking math here, if the machines were using a mathematical formula to reallocate votes across the board, why exclude the smaller precincts? Wouldn't it be pretty easy to do a hand recount of a pile of 97 votes and figure out if the machines were messing with the tally?

Hey, maybe we're just talking out our asses, since we're not A EXPERT. But — don't faint, kids — neither are some of the people who generated the "mathematical models" this bugfuck lawsuit relies on. As the Nevada Independent points out:

The complaint includes a lengthy exhibit authored by Edward Solomon, an “ expert mathematician ” who previously claimed to have found evidence of the 2020 election being rigged via algorithm. Independent fact-checkers have debunked many of Solomon’s claims as showing “ a basic misunderstanding of how vote counts work ,” and his credentials were challenged by voting machine company Dominion in a lawsuit that claimed he was a “convicted drug dealer who never graduated college and whose current job was setting up swing sets in Long Island, New York.”

Of course Gilbert's lawyer is a veteran of Trump's pointless election. We would expect nothing less!

But if there's a silver lining to all this pointless bullshit, it's that people like Gilbert and Tina Peters in Colorado are turning the Big Lie into a Big Punchline, while forcing Republicans to call bullshit on their bogus vote-flipping claims. It's not great but ... it's the best we got.

[ NV Independent ]

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In terms of cranial capacity, there may be "negative slope" involved.

Not "testiculate"?