New 'Al Franken Cheated' GOP Website Lets You Buy Votes For GOP
Everyone knows that Al Franken and his lawyers stole Norm Coleman's landslide victory. Never Again, says the GOP (they are never going to let Norm Coleman run again). But also they are never going to let another comedian from Minnesota become senator. Introducing: No More Frankens dot com! "The only way to prevent more Al Frankens is to win and win big ... There is no margin for error. Will you help us?" Yes, okay. Will this be the usual "get out the GOP vote" deal? You know, telling minorities that election day is November 4? Obviously, yes. But also, a small five thousand dollar donation can buy four thousand votes for the GOP! Your Wonkette just donated "Norm Coleman."
How many votes does "Norm Coleman" buy? Hopefully lots and lots! We are not very good at Maths, but how does this dollar-vote currency exchange work? One thousand dollars buys eighteen hundred votes, but five thousand dollars only gets you four thousand votes? That's wack.
Hasn't the US Chamber of Commerce already bought the Republicans all the votes they will ever need? [ No More Frankens ]
This makes no FrankenSense.
Well, the truth is, after plying a teabagger with several thousand gallons of mayonnaise and corn sugar, the freight charge to get them to the polls starts working against you.