New Hampshire state Rep. David Campbell (D) hit and killed several ducks in the driveway of a hotel in Nashua last Monday; he has apologized for the incident but is unlikely to get a reality show out of it. The New Hampshire Union Leader Reported yesterday that Campbell was going about 15 miles per hour when he drove into the ducks:
A regular tinhorn ducktator.
Before we concentrated on pork and laying hens the farm I&#039;m on had ducks. They shit more than any other animal on earth and kept vacuuming up the food I placed outside for the outside cats. The ducks had a particular preference for shitting inside garages and workshops as well as any porch or outside table. I don&#039;t condone vehicular manslaughter of them but give me chickens any day.
Duck Done Nasty -- the kink-grindhouse version.
Because even a chicken needs a night off every now and then.
If he had hit Canada geese instead, Campbell would have had to guide his coasting car to a landing in the river nearby.
I had never heard of a duck press before I saw it on Bourdain&#039;s show last year, and now I want a reason to have one. Not many uses for a legit torture device in a modern kitchen. Not enough to eat the duck, we must squeeze out it&#039;s life essence so that it can be mopped up with cous-cous.
This kind of apology gives apologies a bad name.
That would just leave a tangled web of defeet.