433 Comments
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Whollyholeyholy's avatar

Them's the more typical states rats Republicans.

Heyzeus Ahchay's avatar

Hey, Oliver, you treasonous moronic asshole: You're "history" ended at the Appomattox Courthouse on April 9, 1865. Fuck you, and fuck the Confederacy.

Heyzeus Ahchay's avatar

Not "Beauregard" or "Biggie Smalls"?

Snarkbot 9000's avatar

Will take the default GOP position here and totally dismiss the issue since it doesn't affect me personally. Oh yeah and "hopes and prayers", I guess.

Snarkbot 9000's avatar

Lincoln should have put it like this back then...

FZsdaughter's avatar

You can always tell which articles are by Doktor Zoom; they're the ones that give you a smile of recognition when the wit takes you higher.

Bobo Brazil's avatar

Thanks! Somebody's personal Civil War library also runs to over 50 books.

redblack's avatar

well, that and the By Doktor Zoom in the byline.

and, technically, wouldn't the masked men be reconstruction workers?

redblack's avatar

i'd be okay with confederate flag toilet paper.

CogitoErgoBibo's avatar

Depends where you live. They absolutely do that where I'm located. Because we're a massively librul university town.

doktorzoom's avatar

I never doubted it! I'm the one who falls back on Ken Burns, really...

davej1s's avatar

Lincoln wanted to peacefully reincorporate all of the confederacy back into the USA. Then some confederate asshole murdered him and threw the entire plan into the trash heap of history and put a crazy mother fucker in charge of the government back then. A four year war from 152 years ago that still divides us today?

Humans...you just can't make this shit up.

toughsister's avatar

Umm… "fiancé" is masculine. Does that mean that the AG is gay?

toughsister's avatar

More exactly, the gay Mexican arm of ISIS.

Cat Cafe's avatar

In this version, Sessions of course is Charles, her first husband

Augustino's avatar

The war is not over; it's never been over; and Putin and Sessions make me think they're going to win after all. Destroy from within, like a slow-growing parasite, and it'll be Mission Accomplished.