Here is an important 2014 election update brought to you by AHAHAHAHAHAHA: Michele Bachmann is trailing her Democratic challenger for her House seat by two points, according to a new survey from Public Policy Polling:
The one-L Michelle, she's a (would-be) priest. The two-L Michelle, she's a (sexy) beast. And I will bet my best, uh, gazelle, There isn't any three-L Michellle.
Please! No way would the Valar accept her into the Blessed Lands. She wouldn't even be cleared for Aman. She'd get dropped overboard where the world bends, straight into the Void, with Morgorth, her master.
10. Together with Larry Klayman and Patrick T. Tierney Attorney At Law, she will form the law firm of Asshat, Pissflap & Putz, specializing in lawsuits to reinstate the Butler Act.
11. Mate with her kind, crawl underground, and dwell there, feeding on xylem fluids from the roots of deciduous forest trees in the eastern United States, emerging every 17 years to emit a high-pitched shriek.
Extra Credit Challenge: Snark on John Boehner but don't reference "boners," crying jags, or his orangey skin color.
Well, we are mostly leftists here.
9. Shave her head, don a flowing white robe, climb to the top of Eagle Mountain and wait for Jesus to send the saucer to pick her up.
9) Take up a nice harmless hobby like used unicorn salesman.
Drink a whole Pond of Dicks.
Go down to Tejas for a stint as Shrub's nekkid model - in the bathtub.
(Yes, <i>ewwww</i>)
9) Start preaching in public about the evils of LED light bulbs.
9) Ooooh, I got I, Mary Kay sales!!!1!
What good is all of that gerrymandering? For heavens sakes!
The one-L Michelle, she&#039;s a (would-be) priest. The two-L Michelle, she&#039;s a (sexy) beast. And I will bet my best, uh, gazelle, There isn&#039;t any three-L Michellle.
I do think she speaks in the Black Speech sometimes, for all the sense she makes.
Please! No way would the Valar accept her into the Blessed Lands. She wouldn&#039;t even be cleared for Aman. She&#039;d get dropped overboard where the world bends, straight into the Void, with Morgorth, her master.
<blockquote>no tangential Marcus Bachmann gay sex jokes.</blockquote>
Yeah? Well.... I got nothing.
10. Together with Larry Klayman and Patrick T. Tierney Attorney At Law, she will form the law firm of Asshat, Pissflap &amp; Putz, specializing in lawsuits to reinstate the Butler Act.
11. Mate with her kind, crawl underground, and dwell there, feeding on xylem fluids from the roots of deciduous forest trees in the eastern United States, emerging every 17 years to emit a high-pitched shriek.