New Stimulus Party Report: Some Guy Drank Beer

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative "Eric." He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn't like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we have no idea whether he went to a stimulus party or not; we get a lot of e-mails from drunk lunatics for no reason after all.

Yes, I went to an awesome stimulus party this weekend! In fact I go to one every single day. Each day after I hear the daily dose of how the USA is going into the tank I drink a 12 pack of some imported beer (America may kick ass, but not in the beer making biz no matter how much "flavor" they try to put in the beer, see Bud Light Lime). The party attendees is usually just my anti-stimulus girlfriend (the governments stimulus, she stimulates just…never mind) and depending on what number beer I am on when she arrives home gets either a thoughtful and well worded argument in favor of it or a slurred version of Ted Kennedy explaining how the car got into the lake and how much Republicans suck…either way she never listens. Good thing is I still have a job! But when I do get fired and become an unemployment statistic I will not have to use a hangover as an excuse not to do anything productive! GO USA!!!

The new version of the stimulus' "centrist compromise" will be to give this guy a full 100% of the Obama Money.