New York Man Arrested Before He Could Shoot GW Bush, Win Daughter Barbara's Love In A Dying America

So here is a thing that happened:  

A New York man armed with a rifle, boxes of ammunition and a machete was arrested Friday after allegedly threatening to kill former President George W. Bush, according to a federal court complaint.

Apparently, Benjamin Smith also thought that once he'd killed the former president, he would then win the hand of Bush's daughter Barbara. Is there a specific DSM diagnosis for people with delusions involving making someone love you by killing a politician? We would not be surprised if there were.

Smith's mother called law enforcement after finding a note in the upstate New York home they share, and the Secret Service was called in. In the note, Smith allegedly wrote that he would be "going to work for George W. Bush and the Pentagon," and "I have to slay a dragon and then Barbara Bush is mine... America is finished. Obama, Etc." So at least he was bipartisan in his violent delusions. Also, that "America is finished" is a nice apocalyptic touch, because in the last days of a fading, dying America, why wouldn't the daughter of a former president see the logic of throwing herself at the guy who just killed her dad?

Secret Service agents were able to locate Smith in Manhattan by tracking his cell phone, for which we sort of hope they at least had to get a warrant, maybe? Hahaha, we live in a fantasy world, don't we?

During questioning, Smith told Secret Service agents, "I'm divorced and not currently seeing anyone, but I am working on a relationship with Barbara Bush," the complaint said.

And people say romance is dead.

Smith's alleged "motives" don't have to make any sense, of course, because it seems fairly clear that he's not right in the head. To his mother's credit, she called the cops when she found the note and noticed that Smith had taken a rifle from their house. Of course, there's still the question of why Smith had access to a rifle at all, but asking questions about that is obviously a sign that we hate freedom and possibly the mentally ill, too.

In any case, we are glad that Smith was arrested before he could hurt anyone. As he was being arrested, Smith reportedly screamed "Bush will get his!" Just to make this completely clear, Yr Wonkette only fantasizes about Bush and Cheney getting a fair trial in The Hague, and in our more extreme fantasies, we wish people would be as passionate about mental illness as they are about making sure every American is armed. Yes, we know -- now who's delusional?

[ CNN ]

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