Newt Gingrich's people wanted everyone to know yesterday that he was definitely about to announce he's running for president, for realz this time. But then they looked into the paperwork to file an exploratory committee and realized it's going to be hard to figure out
Word is out that Newt is going to go into the exploratory phase. Not actually forming an exploratory committee, but into that phase.
Is this like exploratory surgery? We don&#039;t know just how ugly it&#039;s going to get, but we know it&#039;s nasty enough to have to go in?
Could Ole Newt be a bit more hesitent? He was much more confident when he was telling his wives to hit the bricks...
3/3/2011 Update: Ole Newt announes the launching of...his website! This translates to &quot;Send me your money, Suckers!&quot;
Really defying the laws of physics, since his peen is smaller than his wife&#039;s pussy lips. I can&#039;t explain it and neither can you.....
...&quot;exploratory phase&quot; = does anyone have photos of Newt doing a double fist masturbation session in front a children&#039;s playground or &quot;Chuck-E-Cheese&quot;?!?!?!?
I&#039;m thinking a couple of fingers would do the job for Newt. He makes an &quot;OK&quot; sign and goes to town.
via Politico:<i> With the suspensions, the network has taken its first big step to address mounting concerns that it could run afoul of campaign finance laws and journalistic ethics by continuing to keep on its payroll people who are maneuvering to run for president. But the suspensions of two contributors also leads to questions about three others on the Fox payroll &mdash; Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin and John Bolton &mdash; who are also weighing White House bids.
&ldquo;As soon as each of them shows some serious intention to form an exploratory committee, we would take the same action,&rdquo; Brandi said of Palin, Bolton and Huckabee.
...sorry, I was assuming that Newt was of the &quot;African American&quot; persuasion when it came to that &quot;area&quot;!
lulz lulz lulz
...and Trolls, where would &quot;Wonkette&quot; be without them?!
Fox has suspended Newter and Santorum as they are hinting at a 2012 run and will therefore soon have no special correspondents at all.
I submitted two definitions of &quot;gingrich&quot; to the Urban Dictionary last week, and am still waiting for them to pass editorial review.
He wants to announce early to give all the fundies time to get the outrage out of their systems due to the bible verses he&#039;s broken, repeatedly, while simultaneously being a standard bearer for Christian family values. By the time Mittens and Huckleberry and Snowbilly point their righteous fingers at him on the debate podium and call for his death by stoning, as prescribed in the scriptures, Newt will be able to relax, safe in the knowledge that the public believes in a forgiving God.
That Newt Gingrich is a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in ranch dressing and cheese grits.
I have always wondered if he were a tax cheetah.
He could have just asked Sarah Palin,no need to figure anything out.
Sometimes an unanswered question hangs heavily in the air, while history itself makes pause. Faint hearts yearn for a champion to step forward and fearlessly prick the despot&rsquo;s glassy bubble of invulnerable hubris with a rhetorical &eacute;pee. The very angels of liberty hold their breath.
Then there are the times when you&#039;re just listening to the masturbatory ego stroking of a deluded fartsack with a microphone.