NO MINI-STROKES! NO MINI-STROKES! OOPS, DID I JUST SAY MINI-STROKES?

Telling on yourself, Donald?

Donald Trump is having a whine this morning.

It never ends! Now they are trying to say that your favorite President, me, went to Walter Reed Medical Center, hav… https: //t.co/2TUkpYrGwe

— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump) 1598972665.0 

We cannot know for certain, because this White House lies and Donald Trump lies, but we think he just accidentally admitted he had a series of mini-strokes last year. Why?

Well! Trump is very upset that there is new reporting about his mysterious visit to Walter Reed last year, not the one where he allegedly passed his dementia test, but the one that happened out of the blue, unannounced. The White House has been trying to cover this up as a totally routine "part" of his yearly physical ever since. It comes from New York Timesreporter Michael Schmidt's new book  Donald Trump v. The United States: Inside the Struggle to Stop a President . The new headline is that when that happened, Vice President Mike Pence was put on standby to temporarily take over the powers of the presidency that day, you know, in case anything happened. From the book:

In the hours leading up to Trump's trip to the hospital, word went out in the West Wing for the vice president to be on standby to take over the powers of the presidency temporarily if Trump had to undergo a procedure that would have required him to be anesthetized.

Huh, that's weird.

What the book doesn't say? That Trump had a "series of mini-strokes." Hence why we think Trump might have just told on himself.

Of course, this just adds to the never-ending saga of Donald Trump's health, a saga that is almost entirely about people lying about Donald Trump's health. We all remember that doddering dipfuck former White House doctor Ronny Jackson, who stood in the White House briefing room and built a statue out of boners as he bragged on Trump's physical and mental prowess. Also remember Trump's old doctor, Harold Bornstein, who "wrote" a very similar letter before the 2016 election, which he lateradmitted Trump had pretty much dictated. Remember how Trump bodyguard Keith Schiller confiscated Trump's medical records from Bornstein in February 2017? We do.

And now Trump is denying he had a "series of mini-strokes" last year, something nobody accused him of.

This is the same president who made even Laura Ingraham look at him like "U CRAZY?" last night, when he told her a fantastical story about a planeload of Antifa super-soldiers dressed in black who were gonna take to the sky and GIT HIM at the Republican National Convention.

Whatever it is, man is not well.

There's more evidence of that in Schmidt's book.

Dumbfuck Thought He Could 'Settle' With Robert Mueller

If you haven't read our post on how HOLY FUCK, THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION DIDN'T ACTUALLY HAPPEN thanks to Rod Rosenstein, which means NOBODY HAS ACTUALLY INVESTIGATED HOW MUCH OF A RUSSIAN ASSET DONALD TRUMP IS, then please read it.

The book also has an anecdote about how, though Trump was worried about the Mueller probe, he wasn't that worried, because if Mueller was really zeroing in on him, he could just "settle" with Mueller. No really.

"At one point, as the investigation seemed to be intensifying," Schmidt writes, Trump told White House counsel Don McGahn "that there was nothing to worry about because if it was zeroing in on him, he would simply settle with Mueller. He would settle the case, as if he were negotiating terms in a lawsuit."

Did ... did Donald Trump think he could just write Mueller a check (that would probably bounce) and Mueller would go away? Did he really think Mueller was in this because of some dispute they had over golf fees at one of Trump's trash clubs in Virginia?

Man's brain does not work correctly.

Dumbfuck Thought A Good Supreme Court Justice Would Be Rudy Giuliani Or Maybe That Other Guy From Fox News

In which we don't know which is worse: Donald Trump giving then-White House counsel Don McGahn the authority to choose his Supreme Court picks, which is what happened, or if Trump had gone with his own ideas, which sound like jokes we have made on Wonkette.

No really, Rachel Maddow reported this last night from her speed read of the book: Trump wanted to pick Rudy Giuliani, or maybe Fox News Judge Andrew Napolitano for the Supreme Court, or he at least mused that those would be good ideas. But he just let McGahn pick.

We can't find a link for that on the internet besides people on Twitter who also saw Maddow last night, so you'll just have to trust us that it's in there.

He also according to the book thought he could somehow personally prosecute James Comey and Hillary Clinton if the Justice Department wouldn't do his bidding. Don McGahn had to write a memo explaining why actually presidents can't just order prosecutions.

Man is not the Stable Genius he claims to be. He is a fucking fascist, though.

Dumbfuck Tried To Get A Loyalty Oath From John Kelly To Be His New FBI Director, But He Couldn't Get There

This one's been going around a couple days, but Schmidt's book also tells the story of Trump offering the FBI director job to John Kelly, who was then the Homeland Security chief, and would later go on to serve as White House chief of staff. This happened literally one day after Trump fired James Comey.

 Axios has the excerpts:

"But the president added something else — if he became FBI director, Trump told him, Kelly needed to be loyal to him, and only him."

"Kelly immediately realized the problem with Trump's request for loyalty, and he pushed back on the president's demand," Schmidt writes.

"Kelly said that he would be loyal to the Constitution and the rule of law, but he refused to pledge his loyalty to Trump."

Schmidt reports that Robert Mueller never got this information, because they were only allowed to ask Kelly certain questions. Might have been helpful, doncha think? Considering how Trump had tried to extract the same kind of loyalty oath from Comey months before?

More excerpts:

"Kelly has told others that Trump wanted to behave like an authoritarian and repeatedly had to be restrained and told what he could and could not legally do."

"Kelly has said that having to say no to Trump was like 'French kissing a chainsaw.'"

Well, on that unsettling note, let's just all sit here with pits in our stomachs together, doesn't that sound nice?

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