172 Comments

I'm shocked that he didn't pardon Susan B. and her husband Anthony.

Expand full comment

The great story is that line was ad libbed, which is why Gene Wilder cracked up.

Expand full comment

They've all been murdered by deep state, marxist, socialist, anarchist vegan butt hole yodeling trans DEMONCRAPS!FIFY

Expand full comment

An interesting concept. That would mean that the only beings in this existence who are actually people are the anti-Trumpists, because, as angry as they are, MAGATs would not consider this Hell. Their Hell would have President Hillary Clinton, a Democratic majority in the House, and a filibuster-proof Democratic majority in the Senate. That means that all MAGATs are actually demons (and lesser ones at that).

I think I'd like to subscribe to your newsletter.

Expand full comment

Yeah, but I heard he was one-eighth Cherokee. /s

Expand full comment

I want to go to that girl's wedding.

Expand full comment

I can understand Navajos for Trump. The Whites fucked them over so badly, they're hoping for a better deal from the Oranges.

Expand full comment

Owning the libs and the transes, also too

Expand full comment

Orange man speak with forked tongue

Expand full comment

My wife worships at a church named for St Columba, who is the first person on record to have fought the Loch Ness Monster (and to have prevailed through the power of Christ, which immediately converted all the heathen Scots watching)

Expand full comment

One of the Five Civilised Tribes who, to their shame, held slaves and got a seat int the Confederate Congress

Expand full comment

My father-in-law is one of those, he's all like, Christmas and Easter are too pagan and Christians should go back to celebrating the Jewish holidays. I told him he's welcome to rock up to the local synagogue for Yom Kippur but maybe leave the Jesus in his pocket

Expand full comment

Solid reporting by local news!

Expand full comment

Oook

Expand full comment

I have noticed the same thing here in Central Okiehoma.

Expand full comment

I can imagine that must have been a wild set to be on.

Expand full comment