Non-Bin-Laden Bloody Compound Corpse Photos Released

May 05, 2011

President Obama may be doing his best to make the Democratic Party, home to the guy who oversaw the murder of the world's number-one terrorist kingpin, seem effete again by refusing to release photos of Osama bin Laden's corpse because, like, eww! It's covered in blood and stuff! Gross! Why do you guys even want to see that? But Reuters has no such qualms. It bought (outbid Gawker?) a series of photos taken by a Pakistan security official at the compound just an hour after the U.S. made their hit and left, and they're on the Internet. There's a lot of blood! But no weapons are anywhere to be seen, except for what appears to be a little green plastic water pistol halfway under one of the corpses. Uh, did these guys have actual weapons? Did the terrorists just want to have a Super Soaker fight in the yard with the SEALs, but the SEALs forgot their guns were real? Uhhhhh. [ Reuters ]
Experts tell ABC News photos of the helicopter American forces burned and abandoned at the scene is a magically quiet stealth helicopter that was only rumored to exist. No wonder the SEALs blew it up! Must have been annoying riding in a helicopter and not even getting to hear that cool helicopter sound. [ ABC News ]
President Obama's approval numbers shot up after the capture of that one terrorist guy America's teens have never heard of. Over half of the country now likes the job he's done! Good for him! If there's one thing we know, presidential approval lasts forever. [ Quinnipiac ]