Not Groundbreaking News: Americans Are Fat

Just eat less?: News alert:  Because we are a nation of fat slobs, our government would like us to drink less sugar filled poison and stop eating spoonfuls of nitrates, lard and cat litter, even if it tastes good.  Which in D.C. translates to, maybe only have bacon covered donuts once a month? The superb journalists atThe New York Times, ever eager to mock D.C., used the photo from their “D.C. sure is full of fat people” article as the photo for their article about these new dietary guidelines. Aww, thanks! [ New York Times ]

• Meat and Tofu: If you don’t go on pork benders every weekend, but instead prefer to feast on tofu curry and vegan sour cherry pies, there (surprisingly!) is room for you in our small-plates-pork-infested metropolis. This week may be Meat Week, but next week is Meat-Free week, a week that features specials and discounts on various vegetable items. [Meat-Week / Meat Free Week ]

• Thursday, February 3: The hipster underbelly of D.C. will be out and about on Thursday for the Phillips After 5 event. Its got people, jazz, modern art and a cash bar! All the making of enjoyable evening, no matter how tight your pants are. $12. RSVP suggested. [Phillips After 5]

• Friday, February 4: The Donovan House Hotel would like people to go to its rooftop bar, because a rooftop, no matter how great a view it provides, is pointless in the winter. Business then suffers, the future can no longer be won, and this is all terrible. So, go there on Friday nights for vodka served from an ice luge. You will not be disappointed? [Donovan House ]

• New Food: H Street now has "Church and State,” a bar that serves pricey craft cocktails. But, because a bar is only as good as its gimmick, the bar also has its very own confessional that will/should double as room a for sexytime. DON'T FORGET THE SCRUNCHY. [We Love DC ]