"wrote a tell-all book about the corruption, greed and paranoia inside the NRA, called Inside the NRA: A Tell-All Account of Corruption, Greed, and Paranoia, which exposed that LaPierre was greedy and paranoid"
now that's the great writing we come to wonkette for!
Among the revelations in last weekend’s New York Times profile of National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre was this delicious nugget: “His fantasy,” according to a former colleague, “was to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop in Maine.” Should LaPierre ever beat his swords into ice cream scoops, here are a few suggestions for flavors that will set him apart from Ben & Jerry’s:
Second Amendmint
S’more Guns, Less Crime
Glocky Road
Concealed Carry Garcia
Mmmmmm-16
Stand Your Grounds (with real espresso beans!)
Jamoca Ammo Fudge
Freeze, M*****f*****!
Shall Not Be In-Fridged
Banana Clip Chip
License to Chill
Jackfruited Thugs (exotic sorbet flavor)
Wayne Swirled
Blood Orange For the Tree Of Liberty Sorbet
What, no hand-packed pints of Gun Nut? The Star Spangled Ice Cream company beat him to it a decade ago—and even scored an endorsement from NRA board member Ted Nugent.
Not unrelated, I just got wind of a Job No One Wants (in my field): "This is a 12 month, grant-funded position that will support the day-to-day efforts, particularly the processing of collections and creation of finding aids and collection inventories involving the Los Angelitos de Robb collection within El Progreso Memorial Library’s Virginia Wood Davis Archives. This collection is specifically related to the Robb Elementary shooting that took place in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24, 2022. Los Angelitos de Robb collection will continue to preserve community and national response to the tragedy and be open to local community members, researchers, and other users. Additionally, some records in the collection will contain emotionally upsetting or disturbing information."
Having gotten ice cream and therefore been in line in every ice cream shop in Bar Harbor, ME, two weeks *after* Labor Day (ie, at the tail end of the season, when things are winding down), I can say with confidence that Wayne is not fuckin' prepared for that gig. Maybe he should take up something quieter, like (thanks, Pterry) alligator dentistry.
If Wayne had been standing behind the counter at an ice cream parlor putting smiles on children's faces all these years, the world might be a different place. Probably not, they could probably easily find someone to do their evil bidding.
I'm betting he has only pennies remaining of all the $$$ he took from the NRA, at least that's all anybody looking will be able to find. Most of it will be hidden offshore. But why would that lawfirm go along with it?
The only good thing that will come out of this is Wayne et al getting dragged in public for being grifty assholes. The grift and assholing shall continue but it will be to some other POS gun nut "charity" and not the NRA which will sputter along in irrelevance but isn't going to come racing back to prominence after this.
Although, my inner cynic reminds me that the folks who donated to this abomination and were Lifemembers and what not aren't the Best and Brightest that this nation has to offer so ... I may revisit this prediction and admit I was very wrong in the future
“The suit has been chugging along for four years, and accuses them of bilking donors to their “charity,” spending their marks’ hard-earned rubles on things like private jets for vacations to the Bahamas and Lake Como, and fashionable menswear from the Beverly Hills boutique Zenga, instead of helping poor homeless guns find a warm lap to snuggle in.”
I’m quite happy they were working so hard to separate Republicans from their money, can you imagine if they used it on something besides fancy toys?
“It’s not a criminal trial, so nobody’s going to jail. It’s just money, and any of the proceeds from LaPierre et al. will go back to the NRA”
"wrote a tell-all book about the corruption, greed and paranoia inside the NRA, called Inside the NRA: A Tell-All Account of Corruption, Greed, and Paranoia, which exposed that LaPierre was greedy and paranoid"
now that's the great writing we come to wonkette for!
If you had “Wayne LaPierre wants to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop” on your Bingo Card…
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2013/04/wayne-lapierre-ice-cream/
Among the revelations in last weekend’s New York Times profile of National Rifle Association chief executive Wayne LaPierre was this delicious nugget: “His fantasy,” according to a former colleague, “was to retire from the NRA and open an ice cream shop in Maine.” Should LaPierre ever beat his swords into ice cream scoops, here are a few suggestions for flavors that will set him apart from Ben & Jerry’s:
Second Amendmint
S’more Guns, Less Crime
Glocky Road
Concealed Carry Garcia
Mmmmmm-16
Stand Your Grounds (with real espresso beans!)
Jamoca Ammo Fudge
Freeze, M*****f*****!
Shall Not Be In-Fridged
Banana Clip Chip
License to Chill
Jackfruited Thugs (exotic sorbet flavor)
Wayne Swirled
Blood Orange For the Tree Of Liberty Sorbet
What, no hand-packed pints of Gun Nut? The Star Spangled Ice Cream company beat him to it a decade ago—and even scored an endorsement from NRA board member Ted Nugent.
Got a 404 File Not Found on the visit to VIPs in Moscow link, but the gist is clear.
“…whiskey tango fox trot…”
To be pedantic, it’s actually “whiskey tango foxtrot,” or “WTF,” or “what the fuck?!?”
World class Snark Marcie - we accept you; one of us
yup, marcie definitely belongs with the rest of us in this here vile little snark mob.
Not unrelated, I just got wind of a Job No One Wants (in my field): "This is a 12 month, grant-funded position that will support the day-to-day efforts, particularly the processing of collections and creation of finding aids and collection inventories involving the Los Angelitos de Robb collection within El Progreso Memorial Library’s Virginia Wood Davis Archives. This collection is specifically related to the Robb Elementary shooting that took place in Uvalde, Texas, on May 24, 2022. Los Angelitos de Robb collection will continue to preserve community and national response to the tragedy and be open to local community members, researchers, and other users. Additionally, some records in the collection will contain emotionally upsetting or disturbing information."
*sigh*
People who lie constantly about politics and policy are also dishonest in their business dealings? Who saw that coming??
shocking, isn't it
Anyone who thinks running an ice cream parlor would be a cozy retirement gig has never worked food service.
People who frequent ice cream parlors actually want, you know, ice cream in exchange for their money.
Having gotten ice cream and therefore been in line in every ice cream shop in Bar Harbor, ME, two weeks *after* Labor Day (ie, at the tail end of the season, when things are winding down), I can say with confidence that Wayne is not fuckin' prepared for that gig. Maybe he should take up something quieter, like (thanks, Pterry) alligator dentistry.
''Wayne is forced to step back, retire to an ice-cream shop in New England''
Hey Wayne, why are these chips in the Mint Chip ice cream exploding???
The blood on their hands can never, ever be washed away. American carnage.
I probably got this linky from Wonkette, it's an awesome linky. It's about how the NRA basically INVENTED the idea that the 2a covers all guns everywhere. https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/research-reports/how-nra-rewrote-second-amendment?
If Wayne had been standing behind the counter at an ice cream parlor putting smiles on children's faces all these years, the world might be a different place. Probably not, they could probably easily find someone to do their evil bidding.
When suddenly the door opens, the bell rings and a man wearing a balaclava enters armed with an AR-15.
That's about right, the ammosexuals are so fucking scared to go anywhere without their murder binkie.
I'm betting he has only pennies remaining of all the $$$ he took from the NRA, at least that's all anybody looking will be able to find. Most of it will be hidden offshore. But why would that lawfirm go along with it?
The only good thing that will come out of this is Wayne et al getting dragged in public for being grifty assholes. The grift and assholing shall continue but it will be to some other POS gun nut "charity" and not the NRA which will sputter along in irrelevance but isn't going to come racing back to prominence after this.
Although, my inner cynic reminds me that the folks who donated to this abomination and were Lifemembers and what not aren't the Best and Brightest that this nation has to offer so ... I may revisit this prediction and admit I was very wrong in the future
“The suit has been chugging along for four years, and accuses them of bilking donors to their “charity,” spending their marks’ hard-earned rubles on things like private jets for vacations to the Bahamas and Lake Como, and fashionable menswear from the Beverly Hills boutique Zenga, instead of helping poor homeless guns find a warm lap to snuggle in.”
I’m quite happy they were working so hard to separate Republicans from their money, can you imagine if they used it on something besides fancy toys?
“It’s not a criminal trial, so nobody’s going to jail. It’s just money, and any of the proceeds from LaPierre et al. will go back to the NRA”
Nononono!
Tots ‘n pears, Wayne!