21 Comments

Uh, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but...

"When fighting an enemy, it is normally advisable to use the most effective tools for the task"

While this is exactly correct, the problem here is you're trying to fight trolls, by trying to educate them using facts and logic. As has been proven over and over, this is not at all effective.

Unfortunately their idiocy virus spreads very quickly through the shit-permeable-cranium population and appears to be almost always incurable.

We have no solutions other than nuke-mocking them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

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Michelle Obama Unveils New "Let's Not Rollerskate On Cliffsides" Initiative

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Also, we have a handful of cases showing that Ebola isn't a death sentence if the treatment is administered quickly and proactively. If a soldier is exposed to Ebola, a soldier immediately gets treatment, lives.

BUT WHAT IF EBOLA PATIENTS WERE LOADED INTO GIANT SLINGSHOTS LIKE ANGRY BIRDS, AND LAUNCHED AT SOLDIERS?! WHAT THEN OBAMATARDS!?!11

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I soooo want to see that in the next episode of Walking Dead. Zombie slingshots. epic.

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"Expect anyone interacting with the pants-shitting terrified wingnuts to be wearing MOPP suits at all times."

Please tell me you were fully protected when reading Freeper posts!

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Some anonymous Heritage wonk libel!

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"BOMB! BOMG EVERYTHING, EVERYWHERE, OR WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

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Imagine my surprise upon discovering that "Ebola Zaire" isn't some racist's confused and out-of-date notion of African geography, but an actual technical name for Ebola! Sorry, idiot commenter, but somehow I actually underestimated you! I'm sure it won't happen again.

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"a bunch of terrified angry wingnuts" - are there any other kind?

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"Bike Lanes Are Necessary" "Stay Alive - Don't Drink and Drive" "The 5-Second Rule is Wrong"

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And the lesser-known bovine variety, Cow-e-bunga.

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The editorial "management" at this rag must have asbestos pants.

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<i>...Beyond all the paranoid pants-wetting, the thing that really strikes us about all these panicked wingnuts is that, for people who claim to have a huge hard-on for The Troops, they’re astonishingly ignorant about what the military actually does....</i> Hey, hey, hey ... here now. They're just old simpletons. What they really want to do is tell you how things were "back in my day", but then they need to digress to tell you about having an onion tied on their belt and nowadays they're getting confused about that too and may go on about using an onion <i>as</i> a belt and it just gets worse. But with this here eeeeee-lectronic mail thing, they can talk to all the other old folks and pass each other repeated copies of <i>The Protocols of the Elders of Zion</i> or whatever nuthatch conspiracy they have uncovered. Dear God am I going to get like this when I become an old?

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Yeah, well actually I am pretty much an old. So why am I not sending paranoid nutzo things to folks ... hmmmm .... well I do make the occasional post to Wonkette, so ...

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Do you remember who <i>else's</i> military was toppled by germs? Martians. The fucking president is a <i>Martian</i>. I'm sick of this shit! Inpeach!11!!!!!!

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