Obama Vetoes Keystone Pipeline Because He Is A Pussy We Guess

This post sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for Oil Spills, Fracking, Clean Coal, Dirty Lies, and Laying Pipe.

Time to impeach! repeal! sue! President Obama again, for doing exactly what he said he'd do: veto the Keystone XL Pipeline Oil Spills Are Good For 'Merica And Other Living Things Act of 2015.

"Because this act of Congress conflicts with established executive branch procedures and cuts short thorough consideration of issues that could bear on our national interest -- including our security, safety, and environment -- it has earned my veto," Obama wrote in a message to the Senate.

Are we shocked? No, we are not, since the president said he'd veto the bill, but Republicans decided to keep pushing for it anyway, because they are a bunch of jerks, and that is what they do. We are sure the president will get some nasty letter from the oil industry's top lobbyists , telling him how SOOOOO MAD they are at him for not making sweet love to fossil fuels, like a real president would.

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Speaker John Boehner is going to hit the sauce especially hard tonight because he is really bummed that the president turned his back on -- wait for it -- science. What, you think we're making that up?

Aw, but cheer up, John. White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest says there's still hope for you and your precious pipeline:

He did not rule out Obama eventually approving the pipeline.

"It certainly is possible the president will keep an open mind as the State Department considers the wide range of impacts this pipeline could have on the country, both positive and negative,” Earnest said.

We assume that's all the encouragement Republicans need to keep introducing the bill again and again and 50 times more at least, since that's their thing, even when the president is like, "Nuh uh, never gonna happen EVER." And besides, it's not like Congress has any other important matters to focus on this week (like Department of Homeland Security funding, huh what?).

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Nope, none at all.

[ WaPo ]