9 Comments

Superb use of punchline reapplication. Well played.

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This is one of those rare times when I would suggest the best way for her to be the Best Mom is to get away and stay away.

Far, far away...

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Turns out, it doesn't. And assistant managers at Denny's can be quite rude about such things.

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Bristol is a plucky orphan who will win our hearts. Poor thing practically raised herself after losing her parents in a tragic ego explosion. Now she's working her way up to "world's best mom" -- and she just may win it. Because she's a plucky orphan. And maybe she really did learn to be a great mother from a neighbor or teevee or something.

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careful with that kind of talk or Mr. Paul Gonzalez will rough talk you outta here. (also, I am not a stalker.)

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Probably average teenage sex. Find your spouse, find an uncomfortable place to lie down, take off only half your clothes and giggle nervously, then play a little just the tip before going whole hog. That should give you the idea.

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how - at one and the same time - can we be the creators of facebook / twitter / the internet / everything and also be the obese incurious american idiots that use them to entrench a moneyed class with the basest means and certainly methods?

somewhere in there i find hope. probably because i hope somebody will pay me to write a book investigating this conundrum.

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being on facebook is like picking a scab.

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Not Lauper's<i>Girls Just Wanna Have Fun</a>?</i>

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