Oh Look, A Random Box In The Yard. Let’s See What’s Inside… WHOA! Tabs, Tues., Feb. 12, 2024

It's not Taylor Swift, sorry!

Tabs gif by your friend Martini Glambassador!

Is Taylor Swift legally all of the news now? Coming on the heels of Trump claiming she’ll endorse him, which she definitely will not, some Newsmax lady is suggesting that if they pressure her enough, she will sing at his inauguration. Probably not though! [Crooks and Liars]

Also a bunch of weirdos were protesting some store in Wisconsin for selling votive candles of Swift and Travis Kelce — you know, the ones they have on Etsy of basically every celebrity on earth at this point (I have one of Stevie Nicks) — because “blasphemy.” [Facebook]

The Ohio House approved a bill that would require “capitalism” to be taught in the financial literacy classes that students are required to take, despite the fact that it is already covered in other classes like history and government. One imagines the goal here is to convince them that everything is going great, despite all appearances. [WYSO]

A sex shop in Philly known for its “inclusivity” fired all of their workers because they tried to form a union — and the owner told them that the reason they were all fired was because she was looking to sell the store and the new prospective owner of Passional Boutique and Sexploratorium only wants to work with their own family members. In a sex shop. [Jacobin]

Hope your cat doesn’t give you the bubonic plague! [NBC]

Very not cool of Cetaphil to straight up copy creator Sharon Mbabazi’s TikTok video for their Super Bowl ad! The company sort of apologized, while still trying to claim that their ad was totally original, but says they will be “working with Sharon and other influencers like her,” in the future, whatever that means. [RetailWhileBlack on Threads]

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Sending your kids to child care now costs more than sending them to college, which is super awkward considering how little childcare workers are paid. [More Perfect Union]

This will shock you, but a new report from the New York Federal Reserve Bank shows that white Americans benefited significantly more than Black Americans did from the pandemic. [The Root]

Bethany Mandel, a homeschooling right-wing lunatic best known for that time she wrote a whole ass book about how “woke” was bad and then was unable to even define the term in an interview, is RUNNING! For school board! In Montgomery County, Maryland! [Twitter]

We all know teachers don’t get paid enough, but one Canadian teacher decided to address that issue in an especially unsettling way — by selling his students’ art on his own personal website. As of this writing they are still up there and, quite frankly, very expensive!

Tag yrself, I am Alexa’s Creepy Portrait (bottom right corner)!

[The Guardian]

Larsa Pippen (Scottie Pippen’s ex-wife) and Marcus Jordan [Michael Jordan’s son] broke up. I assume that you all probably didn’t know either of these people exist or that they were dating, but I did (she’s on Real Housewives of Miami and threw him a welcome home party when he was gone for like two days) and totally saw this coming. [Page Six]

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Texas plans to execute Ivan Canto on February 28 and there is a lot wrong with his case. Here’s some info and a MoveOn petition that Greg Abbott will definitely pay attention to, because he’s definitely a guy who cares about not murdering innocent people. [MoveOn]

There are fewer chips in our chip bags lately and Elizabeth Warren is ON IT! Congratulations to my sister on not making that up, as I had previously assumed. [Elizabeth Warren Twitter]

Ronald Reagan is pretty much responsible for why the Republican party is the way it is today, but his daughter is real sure he wouldn’t approve at all. [Huffington Post]

And as for what was in that box? It’s a bed. A bed in a box. And you would only have to have scrolled through 35 pictures to get to it! [ViralNova]