Oh My God I'm Freaking Out About All This

Self-helpy AF.

Today we are all Cleo the Screaming Cat. Photo by Girl with red hat on Unsplash

Welome to an advice column by me, Sara Benincasa, a person with opinions. This column will not diagnose anything. Send questions to me via email at saratoninnewsletter@gmail.com. If I use your question, I’ll change your name and details to protect your exotic life as an international superspy.

Dear Sara,

I am very anxious about the future of our nation. I don’t think I need to explain why. I feel as if I had a brief reprieve from being enraged and on edge every single day, though there was still a lot to worry about. Now I’ve begun to feel the constant anger and fear creep back in.

My husband insists the solution is to limit how much news I take in. He agrees with me 100% on everything political, but he disagrees that staying as informed as possible is the best way to be prepared to act. He hears things secondhand, picks up the newspaper on Sunday and reads half of it over breakfast, and catches the news if he’s in the mood. Otherwise, he leaves the room when I’m watching CNN unless I change the channel.

I realize it sounds like I’m asking for marital advice, but I’m not. I’m asking how not to go insane in the next few months. There are some things medication and therapy can’t fix!

— I Do Not Want To Start Meditating Either

Dear IDNWTSME,

Fair enough! I won’t tell you to go to therapy, take medication, or begin meditating. I will add that I don’t necessarily WANT to meditate daily, but I do it anyway because it helps me remain healthier. However, I don’t expect that to sway you! Personally, I never liked it when people gave me that explanation for daily physical exercise, either.

Yes, I think you ought to moderate your news intake. No, I don’t think you need to mimic your lover’s habits precisely. For the purpose of this column, I’m lumping electoral politics with alllllll the other subjects covered on the news. It’s all interconnected, and I don’t imagine you can find, say, an environmental newscast that doesn’t somehow mention or allude to public policy and/or elected officials.

Try this experiment, which is a combination of techniques I am stealing from my shrink and my nutritionist, who has very nice hair: Keep a daily diary of when and how you get your news each day. Write down how you feel right before you read an article or watch a newscast. Then get into it for as long as you wish. Afterwards, take a beat and write how you feel now. Include bodily sensations as well as emotions. Do not censor yourself. Commit to doing this for seven days.

Here's an example. I know turning CNN on is like breathing for you at this point, but make the effort to pause BEFORE you do it and record how you’re feeling.

“Tuesday, July 16, 2024. 1 a.m. Can’t sleep, tossed and turned for 15 minutes. Irritated and alarmed. Racing thoughts about the presidential election. Am drinking water and sitting on couch about to watch CNN.”

Then watch CNN for as long as you want. When you’re done, though, turn the TV off (yes, OFF — don’t just mute it) and sit for a moment. Record how long you watched and how you feel now.

“3:03 a.m. Watched CNN for about two hours straight. Saw reports on Biden’s health, Trump’s health, Israel/Gaza, and various infomercials related to erectile dysfunction. I’m exhausted and can sleep now. I’m hopeless but too tired to think about anything anymore.”

Don’t reflect on it and don’t re-read it. Don’t correct spelling or grammar errors. Nobody will see this but you. Just go on with your other activities.

After a week, I want you to tally up the amount of time you spent taking in news. This includes scrolling on your phone or computer, watching TV or YouTube or political TikTok, reading books about current events, listening to the radio or podcasts about the topic, and even opening a good old-fashioned newspaper or print magazine. You will also need to include your time on this perfect website, where I hope you are a paid subscriber!

After you’ve run the numbers, re-read all your entries. Do you see a pattern? Did certain news sources induce feelings of panic, whereas others actually gave you a feeling of hope and motivation? Did you have a more visceral, painful response to a certain podcast versus another? Can you theoretically connect sleeplessness, stomachaches, or anything else to specific triggering topics?

It's time to trim the un-tasty fat (the tasty fat can stay!) Do you really need to watch an anchor just because he’s the guy who comes on after the gal you really enjoy? Are you actually learning anything from so-and-so’s regular lukewarm political take, or has it just become a boring thing to read whilst perched upon the toilet?

Make it a goal to cut your news consumption down by 25 percent for the next week. Then do the diary exercise for another week and see if you’re able to stick to that goal. Does your mood shift at all? Do you do anything better with your time? Remember, you may go through some fidgety withdrawal type of feelings, so bust out your gardening tools or maybe start taking a nightly walk without your phone.

Is it tedious to downshift from your current mile-a-minute mental pace? Sure. But being in a hospital bed due to a stress-induced cardiac event is worse! Paying even more money to the chiropractor thanks to all that compression on your lower back from sitting on the sofa ten hours a day watching people yap? No thank you!

I write for fucking Wonkette, so I’m not telling anybody to shut off the news entirely! But I am telling you to curate. Pick reliable sources that convey material in a way you find palatable and reasonable. Right now it seems you’re surfing the adrenal highs and lows induced by infotainment, and that’s fun if it’s Mr. Wizard or Bill Nye the Science Guy, but it SUCKS if it’s current event footage of everything bad that a single network can cram into a 24-hour cycle.

Perhaps you’re afraid of starving from lack of information, so you’re eating everything at the news buffet, even when it doesn’t feel good to do so. Inevitably, you’re going to be sickened by this info binge, and you’re likely missing out on life moments you would’ve savored. Do you want to not see a rainbow or experience the joy of your local suburban BDSM cooking club’s annual dungeon-and-snacks orgy because you were too busy gobbling elephant dung baked in the shape of a talking head?!

I am not telling you to limit your news intake only to sources that do not challenge your assumptions. Nay! I am telling you to get your ravenous, unchecked absorption of facts, fiction and loud voices down to a more nutritious and occasionally even delicious size.

In conclusion, this shit is a marathon, not a sprint. We need good folks like you to preserve your energy and stick around to help the rest of us get through all of this crap. We also want you around for celebrating the good things when the good things happen, as they surely will, along with the horrible garbage.

I do applaud you for caring so much. But you’re hurting yourself in the process. You can take some of that time and energy and put it into a volunteer commitment or — and I know this is wild — just plain old REST.

You do deserve rest, you know.