Oh No, Billionaires Have Lost So Many Billions Lately, How Will They Live It Is Quite Sad, Etc.

Will no one weep for Elon? Like, other than his weird Twitter sycophants?

The world's billionaires, who mostly got even richer during the pandemic while other people struggled, are having a rough year in 2022, according to a story in Forbes. Globally, billionaires have lost nearly $2 trillion, leaving them having to order slightly fewer options on their Maybachs and Bentleys, or perhaps shortening their annual peasant-hunting vacations on their private islands. Forbes says the criminally rich have been "rocked by 12 months of shaky stock markets, war in Europe and rampant inflation." Darn right inflation affects the very wealthy. Superyacht fuel has gone way up. And Russia's invasion of Ukraine has been bad for billionaires. This is indeed tragic.

As a group, the planet’s billionaires have lost $1.9 trillion in 2022, according to Forbes ’ estimates, with their collective wealth dropping from $13.8 trillion on New Year’s Day to $11.9 trillion on December 9. The number of billionaires has fallen too, from 2,671 to 2,523, per  Forbes ’ real-time tracker , as high-profile moguls like Sam Bankman-Fried , Kanye West and Rivian founder RJ Scaringe have dropped from the ranks.

Oh. We would find that Jerry Seinfeld eating popcorn and saying "That's a shame" GIF, but apparently it's out of our price range.

In America, our very own beloved billionaires have lost some $660 billion in wealth, the biggest hit to any country's billionaires according to Forbes , mostly due to wobbly tech stocks. The biggest loser in America is Elon Musk, and he's also out a lot of money, too. Forbes said his net worth is down $115 billion, meaning he's no longer the richest asshole in the world, even if he runs a Twitter poll asking his strange adoring fans who they think is the richest in friendship. (The title — for money at least — now belongs to Bernard Arnault, SEO of French luxury goods conglomerate LVMH. Could be completely fictional names for all I know.) Musk is still the richest person in America, struggling by on a paltry net worth of just $139 billion.

Other American robber barons have lost a bunch of money too, like Jeff Bezos (lost $80 billion, net worth about $106.9 billion), Mark Zuckerberg (lost $78 billion, net worth $42.7 billion), Google CEO Larry Page (lost $40 billion, net worth $76.8 billion), and Rebecca Schoenkopf, who we've been told has a net worth of $4 million, mostly due to some commenter who says they have the goods. (No we aren't done laughing at Yr Editrix's nonexistent millions, because only by mockery can we cover up the ugly truth that she could destroy any of us with a single order.)

OK, but this is kind of nice: Microsoft stock has dropped 27 percent this year, but Forbes notes the real reason cofounder Bill Gates is $20 billion less rich is that he gave that amount to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, which is doing such a great job fighting disease and poverty while also freaking out paranoid anti-vaxxers. Come the revolution, we'll eat him near the last.

Also too, lest anyone lose hope because billionaires are struggling so, Forbes points out that a lot of rich people are still getting richer, so don't give up on the American dream just yet, suckers.

[ CNBC / Forbes / Image generated by Stable Diffusion AI ]

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