OK, Viktor. Tabs, Tues., March 31, 2026
It is like OK Boomer except it is one specific Boomer named Viktor Orbán. Anyway, here's these tabs.
Morning, here’s tabs:
Some sober and sobering truth from Hamilton Nolan, on the subject of Time To Quit The Military (seriously): “My purpose is not to demonize members of the military. On the contrary. People who joined an organization with noble intentions, who were told that they were serving the purest interests of their country, are now in the position of being foot soldiers for a gangster-style president who is quite possibly the single biggest threat to peace on earth. It is important that we speak honestly about the fact that these soldiers are in the perilous position of risking their lives in order to carry out villainous goals.” Read it all. [Hamilton Nolan]
Did you know that the Andes Mountains and the Amazon are the only NATURAL separators in the Western hemisphere between north and south? It’s just science and it’s just math and it’s just geography, says Secretary Shitfaced OF WAR. Did you know that “From Greenland To Guyana” is our new national (security) anthem? Do you even know the hand motions to the song, bro? [ANI]
Rick Scott says you are supposed to love high gas and food prices for the sake of the war, because it’s better than getting blown to nuclear bits by Iran! (Which was never going to happen, ever.) [JoeMyGod]
Who has now closed its airspace to US planes in their conduct of illegal warring? Spain has. [Reuters]
“The First Post-Reality Political Campaign.” It’s the one in Hungary right now, where despite all his best dictator efforts, Viktor Orbán’s party could actually lose. And he is clearly panicked. Crazy shit from Anne Applebaum about the lengths he’s going to, to convince Hungarians that, um, Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Ukraine are about to attack them. Sure, Viktor, sure. [Atlantic]
Why is Pam Bondi’s DOJ hoarding all this Bitcoin inside its butt, aside from the fact that Bitcoin has become rather worthless lately and they’re probably desperately hoping it’ll go back up before they launder it to America’s enemies (or whatever the Trump DOJ does with its running around money)? [Esquire]
Pope just saying God rejects prayers of fuckers who start wars. [Letters From Leo]
Trump’s Big Beautiful Ballroom design: As much of a tacky, classless piece of shit as you’d imagine. [New York Times]
Oooooh boy, Amherst has Donald Trump’s approval rating at 33 PERCENT. That is scraping the underside of the great urinal cake of the American populace right there. [Amherst]
The Pentagon is reportedly investigating the incidents this weekend where two Apache helicopters flew over the No Kings protests and then did fly-by maneuvers at Kid Rock’s house (which made Kid Rock jizz himself in red, white and blue SO HARD BRO). So we guess our own personal number one theory — that Pete Hegseth was drunk-driving Apache helicopters — is …. eh, let’s not rule it out just yet. [News Channel 5 Nashville]
And oh hell, why don’t we call that the end of tabs. NOT MUCH NEWS THESE DAYS, SNOOZE.
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A “Cuban tody” sounds like a cocktail, but it is in fact the adorable bird in your hed gif: https://martiniambassador.substack.com/p/the-cuban-tody
And your meme chat is here: https://open.substack.com/chat/posts/ce3d76ce-b898-481c-a5e8-088835357126?utm_source=share
Re: Orban
Being endorsed my Trump may be his kiss of death.