Oklahoma Attorney General Doesn't Understand How Science, The EPA, Or Teevee Works, Apparently

It will not surprise any of you to learn that those of us behind the scenes here at yr Wonkette are not a particularly prayerful bunch. Prayer time interferes with our sexxxytime and getting high and it REALLY fucks up our general adherence to godless communism. But we are seriously considering taking up prayer to beat back the tide of these weird Dominionist types that just won't be happy until they completely and literally ravage the Earth, secure in their knowledge that once they've used up all the fossil fuels and whatnot, God will just rapture them away or make more oil or whatever.

Now, we've no reason to actually believe that Oklahoma Attorney General Scott Pruitt is a Christian Dominionist, but it's either that or he really is just this dumb, and either answer doesn't make us feel very good. Witness him explaining to the good people of ALEC how he doesn't really watch librul teevee but this one time he watched librul teevee and then he heard about the EPA and now he is mad as a hatter.

“I don’t watch MSNBC too much, but I watch Chris Hayes, apparently."

Apparently? How can you be unsure as to whether you actually watch Chris Hayes? Are you just too shy to admit you watch something that isn't staffed entirely by hectoring gibbons like Fox or are you literally too stupid to know what television channel you're viewing at any given time?

"[Hayes had the] president giving an interview, I think it was to Mr. Krugman, about energy policy in this country, and I was shocked by what was reported. The administration and this show talked about that the goal of our energy policy should be to keep two-thirds of the fossil fuels in the ground. That’s the goal,” Pruitt said.

Shocked, shocked, we say!!

“And so when you have that stated as clearly as that, you start asking the question, this body called the EPA, this agency called the EPA, what is their role, what is their objective? Is it to pick winners and losers in the energy context? Is it to say that renewables are good and fossil fuels are bad, so we are going to use our regulatory power to penalize fossil fuels, to elevate other types of energy?”

Um, actually, yes. That's exactly what the EPA is going to use its regulatory power to do, because that is actually how regulatory power works. You may be unfamiliar with how the regulatory power of an executive body works, except that is fucking terrifying since you are actually a state attorney general and presumably represent said state in regulatory issues ALL THE FUCKING TIME. Also, too, elections have consequences, and when the voters put Bamz in for round two, they presumably wanted him and his hippie environmental policies instead of your whole "burn it all down" philosophy.

We know that is hard to understand, particularly given that you, Scotty Pruitt, are so soft-minded that you can't understand why you'd need to ever leave any type of fuel unconsumed. Even if you are stupid enough to believe that burning every last bit of coal you can find will not actually cause global warming, surely you understand the concept that coal was not placed gently under the earth by our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and at some point you will actually run out of it, which is why the EPA does silly things like trying to fund alternative energy sources. Weird, right? It's almost as if they care what will happen to the world once they personally aren't marching atop it. Silly liberals.

[ Raw Story ]