640 Comments

In nursing-home parlance, and purely metaphorically speaking I am SURE, Trump is a "finger-painter."

He digs down deep in that diaper and paints a Boschian picnickscape for the bored onlookers.

Expand full comment

“The whopping outrage of Trump’s indictment, it’s a whopping outrage..."

Well, hell, I was going to use the word "whopping" in a staff meeting this afternoon, but I guess I'll have to change my plans.

Expand full comment

Maybe his farts are helping to keep him warm. Though that might be taxing on those seated near him. Those fast food farts are noxious. It also verifies my theory that he is full of shit, or his depends are. In either case, I don't want to be the person to prove it one way or the other.

Expand full comment

Everyday gets worse for tfg. Good.

Expand full comment

BFB. Big Fucking Baby.

Expand full comment

Sorry. There is no way on earth that I would ever knit him anything, not even if I got to put insults to every aspect of his being all over every square millimeter of the fabric. If it's cold, then perhaps he should bring a coat. On the other hand, I think I could be a fair and impartial juror because I care about the rule of law. What greater rejection of everything about him could there be than truly upholding the rule of law?

Expand full comment

Has he never heard of longjohns?

Expand full comment

We could ask classical couturiere Medea to whip something up for him.

Expand full comment

Ew. Don, Jr.? Eric?

I just became vegetarian. Maybe vegan. Maybe even breatharian.

Expand full comment

The BBC has a succinct list of the public data on the main 12 jurors. These are a smart, diverse group who sound trustworthy. Donnie is so boned...😴

Trump jury members set for opening statements: Who are they? https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-68848665

Expand full comment

I like that he has to use the courthouse public bathroom. I would feel bad for the SS guys that have to follow him in there if they weren't a buncha MAGATs.

Expand full comment

Fingers crossed that we get a story by Evan tomorrow regarding PAB's farting all day in court.

Expand full comment

"papers printed out for him by the blonde lady who follows him around with a damn printer in a Radio Flyer Wagon, printing out things to make this record-breakingly old Boomer and his tiny hands feel better."

It's not honest work, but it's a living

Expand full comment
Comment removed
Apr 19
Comment removed
Expand full comment

It’s prolly not even a *real* RF; more likely one a them cheap Harbor Freight knockoffs.

Expand full comment

my guess is he was given that stack to keep him busy in the court room. except now he'll order his lawyers to introduce them as evidence

Expand full comment

Do those pages all have tears in their i’s?

“Sir, these are the fakeyest fake charges, the likes of which we’ve never seen!”

Expand full comment

But does this aide print these things on undersized paper? You know he'd like that.

Expand full comment

I can relate. One of the many side benefits of nursing a baby was the realization that those little bitty hands made even my nursing apparatus look big. You just need to employ the proper contrast in order to make whatever you have look big (or small, as the case may be).

Expand full comment

5 x 7 FTW!!

Expand full comment

"printing out emails for my boss" i always took as comedic shorthand for "i have an old out of touch boss" ... but imagine if that is your main task and legitimate full time job?! i would quit out of embarrassment.

Expand full comment

I had a boss once who, when I was assigned to update/replace our department's website, insisted I print everything out for her to approve - and she HAD to approve it before it could go live. The woman literally had no clue about how hyperlinks function. I had to print out every single link for her.

Expand full comment

Scott Adams is gone but the PHBs are still with us.

Expand full comment

It's his health care plan, isn't it?

Expand full comment

Infrastructure week. FTW!!

Expand full comment

"He mentions at the beginning of this one that “the Rolling Stone” doesn’t even like Bragg’s chances!"

But will he get his picture on the cover?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuvfIePDbgY

Expand full comment