213 Comments

Look, I don't really think of myself as a math genius but the fucking thing is a rectangular prism. Volume*density=mass.

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Yes, as the back of the "firefighter" coat sez, this really is a BFD.

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"…and then the oral sex!"

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Nice belt. Where'd you get the onion?

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I on the other hand keep mistaking him for the Flash.

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Do Texans intentionally look for small sticks to jab into their own eyes or do they just stumble across them and not know what else to do with them?

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Not this guy. Wellllllllllll... it IS Texas.

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That guy was a failure in Florida and now here he is in Texas. And things have changed? Oh my gosh, good people of Texas. If you listen to this loser, you are in serious trouble. Keep going with that blue wave, Texas. And don't listen to this Trumplogodyte West.

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I can see the GOP running this guy for president in 2024.

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So there's a fire there. Any way we can throw an accelerant or three onto it?

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So where is Sarah Palin these days? GOP gonna put her in charge of some state? Oh pleeeeze let it be Florida.

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I can see the GOP running a testicular teratoma for president in 2024. If there are elections anymore.

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Maybe just hand the package back and ask them to remove half of it? Everyone is pretty tired these days. Counter workers have been coping daily with the threat of actual death for months now. Not an easy job, for minimum wage.

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This is a valid solution. I'm sorry I didn't think of it.

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Nah, Trump will run again. As the incumbent. He'll eliminate the 22nd Amendment by Executive Order, doing so as "our favorite president."

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