ONE VOTE, ASSHOLES! ONE VOTE!
DO WHAT THE BUTTONS SAY
Recounts happened Tuesday in the elections for the Virginia House of Delegates! Remember how nobody ever thought the Democrats could retake control of that body, everything was (and is) so gerrymandered to fuck, but then all of a sudden WHOA HOLY SHIT DEMOCRATIC WAVE, TRANSGENDER LADY STOLE SEAT OF BIGGEST TRANSPHOBIC ASSHOLE IN THE WHOLE STATE AND A MILLION OTHER DEMOCRATS WON ALSO TOO? Because of said gerrymandering, control of the body hung in the balance, even though Democrats beat Republicans by 10 points overall among votes cast in those elections. This is fucked up, and it's also how things are in the United States House of Representatives and in a bunch of other states.
That alone is a good enough reason for Democrats to NEVER MISS AN ELECTION AGAIN, so we can be the ones holding the pen next time it's time to draw lines. (And we will draw them FAIRLY and the GOP will bitch and moan because FAIRLY has a WELL-KNOWN LIBERAL BIAS.)
Another real good reason to never miss an election again is that it appears Republicans have lost their majority in the Virginia House of Delegates by ONE VOTE after today's recounts:
A Republican seat flipped Democratic in a wild recount Tuesday - with the Democrat winning by a single vote - creating a rare 50-50 tie between the parties in the House of Delegates and refashioning the political landscape in Richmond.
Democrat Shelly Simonds emerged from the recount as the apparent winner in the 94th District of the House of Delegates, seizing the seat from Republican incumbent David Yancey. A three-judge panel still must certify the results, an event scheduled for Wednesday.
Of the 23,866 votes cast in the Newport News district on Election Day, Yancey held a tenuous lead of just 10 votes going into Tuesday’s recount. [...]
The final tally: 11,608 for Simonds to 11,607 for Yancey.
ONE VOTE, ASSHOLES.
Oh, is your armpit planning to itch on election day?
ONE VOTE, ASSHOLES.
Oh, are you gonna get stuck in the drive-thru getting a Big Mac to put directly inside your bottom and forget to make it to the polls?
ONE VOTE, ASSHOLES.
Oh, but were you thinking the Democrat running for "Thing" isn't perfect according to your standards, so it doesn't really matter if some GOP sexual predator wins "Thing," because they are all the same anyway?
ONE VOTE, JILL STEIN.
Oh, but were you busy reading the Wonkette open thread and drinking booze and putting cat .gifs in the comments section?
That's fine, it's not election day. BUT WHEN IT IS, WE SWEAR TO GOD.
Anyway, that means open thread, goodbye.
Follow Evan Hurst on Twitter RIGHT HERE.
[ Washington Post ]
CAUTION CAUTION CAUTION SPOILERS AHEAD BC I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO A HOVER-OVER BLACK OUT............Let's see, there was the 45 minute agonizingly boring set up to start out, the hotdogging hero WHO GETS LITERALLY EVERYBODY KILLED BECAUSE HE WON'T FOLLOW ORDERS, followed by the cringe-inducing misogyny of this guy, a hero so uninspiring I can never remember his name, doing everything but call Holdo and Organa incompetent cunts to their faces, and the most boring bad guy-good guy Ren-Rey dynamic ever conceived. Then all the deus-ex-machina saves, and the magical bad guy who is nevertheless too stupid to figure out that he's fighting a projection.
That was WAY too fucking close of an election!
This is EXACTLY why I oppose people like Jill Stein. They spoil the election and enable morons to get into power.