We all know that in the old-timey days of Jesus, demons were running around, like, everywhere , doing demon things -- that's a FACT -- but in today's world, are demons still even a thing?
There used to be this great late night television show in the late 80s where these folks had to round up "cursed objects." I was crazy about that show. I think it helped that I was usually just getting home from the bar when it came on.
He has this magic ring he shakes hands with you while wearing and it inflicts the Jeebus and takes the demon out of your goodwill clothes but only after you reverse mortgage the fucking house and pay your damn 700 club bill you sinning bastards
Now we have proof that demons aren't real - if they were, when Pat said "Ladies and gentlemen, beware these scamsters, especially these scamsters in religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all over the place," one would have taken control of Pat's hand and pointed his finger at Pat's face.
This is a true story: When Bro Pat was just a young apprentice grifter with a bankrupt teevee station he had bought at a fire sale that needed cheap programming, he showed old Popeye cartoons, but he had one of his unpaid volunteer demonologists go through all the tapes to weed out the ones that featured the Sea-Hag.
Because Satan lieth in wait everywhere, whereas Bro Pat just lieth.
(I have more stories from the prehistory of the 700 Club and they are all just as crazy.)
There used to be this great late night television show in the late 80s where these folks had to round up "cursed objects." I was crazy about that show. I think it helped that I was usually just getting home from the bar when it came on.
"Jack Manure" - The name of my next garage band.
Won't wearing a cross pendant get rid of demons or just that just work on vampires?
Speaking of binding, I think my shorts may be possessed. Better call Pat.
What is Pat's opinion regarding Bobby Jindal?
He has this magic ring he shakes hands with you while wearing and it inflicts the Jeebus and takes the demon out of your goodwill clothes but only after you reverse mortgage the fucking house and pay your damn 700 club bill you sinning bastards
According to my mom, because he conveniently helps those who help themselves.
Lazy sod.
Now we have proof that demons aren't real - if they were, when Pat said "Ladies and gentlemen, beware these scamsters, especially these scamsters in religious garb, quoting the Bible. I mean, run from them. They’re all over the place," one would have taken control of Pat's hand and pointed his finger at Pat's face.
Yes, Linda, there is a Demon Sweater.
This is a true story: When Bro Pat was just a young apprentice grifter with a bankrupt teevee station he had bought at a fire sale that needed cheap programming, he showed old Popeye cartoons, but he had one of his unpaid volunteer demonologists go through all the tapes to weed out the ones that featured the Sea-Hag.
Because Satan lieth in wait everywhere, whereas Bro Pat just lieth.
(I have more stories from the prehistory of the 700 Club and they are all just as crazy.)
True dat. I was there
There you go again trying to use logic - this is a matter of *faith*, the Lord is mysterious and unknowable ( in a psychopathic kind of way)
Important safety tip: DO NOT CROSS THE STREAMS.
Of course demons are real, Supernatural told me so!
Demon chipmunk is the worst!
It was right there, in the Inferno version....