As part of a special service marking the start of the school year at Oral Roberts University, a bald eagle named Lewis was released from the upper balcony of the school's huge chapel/auditorium; it was supposed to fly above the crowd and land on its trainer's arm, but instead crashed into a window and fell to the floor.
That's it? It hit a window...a fucking window. It flew into a window like any common blue jay that spent too much time in the china berry tree? All day long, I saw links to "shocking eagle event at Oral Roberts", but I couldn't link cuz my employer blocks streaming vid. All day long I have waited to see a proud American eagle gouge out the eyes of some sanctimonious sonuvabitch while saying, "by the way, Asshole...Jesus says back the fuck off on the gays or it will go hard on you". Hell, even when I saw the headline I read "widow" instead of "window" and thought, ok...sad...unless of course she was some crazy troll who would yarble on about wriggling around in excrement at which point I would have said, "gouge on, gouge on oh proud symbol of America's heritage".
But no...the poor thing, scared out of his wits by a bunch of religious lunatics flies into a window. Shit, I would have tried to fly though plate glass to get away too.
Love that last link (to <a href="http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/bald-eagle-tired-of-everyone-just-assuming-it-supp,2902\/" target="_blank">The Onion</a> ), where the eagle complains, &quot;no one wants to listen. They just cheer and chant &#039;U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A.!&#039;&quot;
In a perfect world, the window would have been open, and the eagle would not have set down until he was safely off campus. THAT would be some heavy-duty symbolism.
Then again, in a perfect world, we wouldn&#039;t have a roomful of wingnutz chanting USA! USA! in the chapel of Xtard U.
Symbol of America says &quot;Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here!&quot;
Naturally, the fuckwits in the audience chose not to notice a &quot;message from God&quot; there -- they&#039;re waiting for he next tornado or hurricane.
&quot;But the window will not open&quot;.
I saw the original broadcast of that. Good times, good times.
Was your headline better?
Thanks for all the fish.
I&#039;m the concierge.
That&#039;s it? It hit a window...a fucking window. It flew into a window like any common blue jay that spent too much time in the china berry tree? All day long, I saw links to &quot;shocking eagle event at Oral Roberts&quot;, but I couldn&#039;t link cuz my employer blocks streaming vid. All day long I have waited to see a proud American eagle gouge out the eyes of some sanctimonious sonuvabitch while saying, &quot;by the way, Asshole...Jesus says back the fuck off on the gays or it will go hard on you&quot;. Hell, even when I saw the headline I read &quot;widow&quot; instead of &quot;window&quot; and thought, ok...sad...unless of course she was some crazy troll who would yarble on about wriggling around in excrement at which point I would have said, &quot;gouge on, gouge on oh proud symbol of America&#039;s heritage&quot;.
But no...the poor thing, scared out of his wits by a bunch of religious lunatics flies into a window. Shit, I would have tried to fly though plate glass to get away too.
She had a head?
Love that last link (to <a href="http:\/\/www.theonion.com\/articles\/bald-eagle-tired-of-everyone-just-assuming-it-supp,2902\/" target="_blank">The Onion</a> ), where the eagle complains, &quot;no one wants to listen. They just cheer and chant &#039;U.S.A.! U.S.A! U.S.A.!&#039;&quot;
You&#039;re overthinking this, by thinking about it at all.
Short version: &quot;God done it. He&#039;s got His reasons, now shut up.&quot;
In a perfect world, the window would have been open, and the eagle would not have set down until he was safely off campus. THAT would be some heavy-duty symbolism.
Then again, in a perfect world, we wouldn&#039;t have a roomful of wingnutz chanting USA! USA! in the chapel of Xtard U.
Symbol of America says &quot;Get Me The Fuck Out Of Here!&quot;
Naturally, the fuckwits in the audience chose not to notice a &quot;message from God&quot; there -- they&#039;re waiting for he next tornado or hurricane.
I would try to break out of that loony bin too.
The Wonkettariat salute you.