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Ward From Cali's avatar

"...Kale Williams, whose first name, we feel compelled to point out, could also be a weird ingredient in s’mores."

Ah, Dok, you missed it! Sea S'mores, Dok, SEA S'MORES! No doubt your brain was feeling from alliteration fatigue by this point, so no foul. Environmental news, smol critters, fun rhetorical gymnastics....add Pixie Pie (maybe a third verse?) and it would be the perfect Dok Zoom post. Now, be sure to put some ice on your cheek, it's probably sore by now.

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Stranger Than Friction's avatar

Dok! 10 out of 10. No notes! (Yay!!!)

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Kingeider's avatar

That's a godawful old crappy truck to be hauling a long water filled tanker trailer in the mountains. Somebody needs firing

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Ward From Cali's avatar

It was probably only half-full of water. Fishies need air, too.

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Lil Snot's avatar

Did Don bribe Becca to get assigned this story? I wouldn't put it past him to do it or her to take it 😄.

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

Okay, I scrolled way the fuck down, and I didn't see a single salmon enchanted evening.

Not one.

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Smilin'Andy's avatar

Salmon chanted evening, you may smolt a stranger?

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Daniel O'Riordan's avatar

I sit here, contemplating something, anything, that should be said about, " He who smolt, it dolt it," but nothing. Absolutely nothing.

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Doug's avatar

Dok, enough fluff ‘n puns. Just give us the basic smuts and smolts.

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ZorPern's avatar

Oh - if only ALL of our stories were this benign!

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NerdWithNoName's avatar

You're killing me, smolts

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Uncle Milburn's avatar

Marty lives for stories like this.

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Queroloustwo's avatar

Could have been worse. https://youtu.be/xuZ8sHdlvSM

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Bitter Scribe's avatar

Kale and smolt s'mores actually sound intriguing, but what would you substitute for the marshmallow? Mashed potatoes?

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Doktor Zoom's avatar

Who said anything about "substituting" ingredients?

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

While spending a month in Alaska about 35 years ago I dearly remember sitting on the bank of a clear stream on Douglas Island (across from Juneau) and watching for about two hours two salmon getting married, building a home (called a "redd") and then launching a small family of several thousand fertilized eggs. I still have a large photo of the salmon and their gravel home on my wall (den/man cave/office) to remind me of the reality of nature's continuation despite the horrid efforts of humanity to disrupt such things. The words of Jefferson Airplane seem relevant: "Say it plain but the human name doesn't mean shit to a tree." Or to a salmon's fierce desire to continue the species. May the smolts persevere.

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GrannysKnitting's avatar

journalism done right, as far as i'm concerned

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Garnet's avatar

I’m glad to know that at least some of the salmon babies found a safe spot, at least for a little while. I wish humans be better at being earthly beings : (.

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Jus_Wonderin's avatar

I know I could Google this but how do the Salmon find their way back? Do they, immediately, take a reading of the Earth's magnetic field?

Salmon: "OK. I'm starting here. I must remember. I have to remember. Remember. Remember."

I wouldn't find my way back.

ETA: y

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Rodrigo Rodriguez's avatar

I used to study homing in Pacific salmon, and the short answer is "a few ways". They likely use magnetoreception in the open ocean, but once they reach their natal river they begin to rely more and more on olfaction. They smell the unique chemical fingerprints of their natal streams and navigate toward them. We were able to imprint salmon on particular odorants during a critical phase of their development, then fool them into returning to a different stream when they returned as adults by dripping that same odorant into a different waterway. Cool stuff.

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Rebecca's avatar

The prevailing theory is that they use electro-magnetic signatures to return home. The reason most don't make it back is that they get eaten on the way or obstructions in the waterways prevent their return. We spent millions to clear traditional salmon waterways, and we have a program to restock the spawning grounds annually while educating elementary school children who maintain tanks full of frys (salmon babies) with the help of our water quality staff. The release event is very exciting for everyone involved, and kids can track the salmon they released to see which ones make it back (few, because the world is hostile to little fishies) the following year.

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Permanently Confused@68's avatar

I've done this. Raised fry with kindergartens.

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Dudley Didwrong's avatar

USGS says that of the several thousand eggs laid and fertilized by salmon, the number that will return to spawn is "0 to 10." Of those that don't, they, too, have served the purpose of food to other creatures. Of those that do, they are the continuation of the species and if we as humans don't screw it up, the returnees are sufficient.

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