Our Fallen Hairline: Rod Blagojevich Guilty On 17 of 20 Charges

We are sad to see surrealist comedy news program "Rod Blagojevich Eternally On Trial For Being An Idiot" finally come to a close now that Rod has just been convicted on 17 of 20 counts of corruption. Has it really been eternity already? Seriously, we cannot remember anymore when we were not reading about this hairball goon's ridiculous scheming. Terrible enemies of hilarity "the jury" took only ten days to decide that Rod is a hopeless piece of scum who will have to go away. We are hoping there are already plans for Rod to get a teevee show from jail? There Are No Hairbrushes in Prison can be its very tragic title, and Rod will teach troubled black inmate youth how to play harmonicas for a five-dollar donation to his imaginary come-back campaign when he gets out in 26,384 years.

Meanwhile, because it is always fun to observe the condemned completing menial tasks, the Chicago Tribune reporter breathlessly tweeted Rod's final act of managing to go to the bathroom and then shake everyone's hands, for grossness:

 
 Thanks for that, Stacy St. Clair. This is how we will try to remember him. [ Chicago Tribune ]