In a recent sermon that, oddly enough, did not seem to have much to do with the Barbie movie, Pastor Greg Locke took out a baseball bat with a bunch of Bibles strapped to it and smashed a Barbie Dreamhouse to bits. For Jesus.
Given that Barbie Dreamhouses now cost like $200 to $250 (the housing crisis affects us all), that seems like a pretty cruel thing to do, when surely there is a little kid out there who would probably really appreciate such a gift. But Pastor Greg Locke had a point to make. What that point was, we cannot be entirely sure, but it seems to have had something to do with demons, porn, and premarital sex.
“We drive demons out all time,” he explained during the 45-minute sermon, “but we’ve not reached a place where we understand: You have to pull down the stronghold that the demon left behind. Because when you cast out the spirit of sexual perversion, it’s got to leave you. So does the person still struggle with porn because they still have a demon? No. They still struggle with porn because the fortified house is still there and the stronghold has to be pulled down.”
Locke then went on a whole etymology tangent about how the Greek word for “pulled down” is demolition (it is not), and therefore the only way to really stop watching porn is to smash children’s toys with a baseball bat.
In another part of the sermon, Pastor Locke explains that he has seen thousands of people vomit in church, and that when they vomit in church they don’t vomit up what they ate that day, but rather spew white, green (pea soup?) or brown bile that a friend of his suspects is probably a demon’s stronghold from when they were possessed by a demon that made them watch porn.
And that just seems true.
Barbie's Demon Stronghold sounds like the most awesomely metal of all Barbie Dreamhouses.
What
Would
Jesus
Gallagher?