Hey ladies, how are you screwing up your children today? Are you smothering them? You are probably smothering them. Are you neglecting them, with your whoring at your "job"? You are probably doing that too. Are you turning them all into little homicidal maniacs,
Too bad God can't cure dumbness by prayer. If he did, thanks to MY prayers, Pat would not only be smarter, but he'd also shut the fuck up.
I'm starting a fund to buy a solid gold barbed wire dildo to fuck Pat in every orifice and maybe we'll make some new ones. Anyone care to contribute? After he's totally fucked the proceeds will go to a Planned Parenthood clinic in Texas if there are any left.
Too bad God can't cure dumbness by prayer. If he did, thanks to MY prayers, Pat would not only be smarter, but he'd also shut the fuck up.
Jesus looks over at his answering machine again..."what...that dumb fucker again? Let the machine get it."
Not masturbating enough. It's all about balance.
Ernest Angely ftw. "Oh deaf spirit come out, come OUT! Now, say baby...say Jesus loves me!"
"argh blah blah argle bargle"
"PRAISE JESUS...IT'S ANOTHER MIRACLE!!"
If You Get Sick, Obviously God Is Punishing You.
I'm starting a fund to buy a solid gold barbed wire dildo to fuck Pat in every orifice and maybe we'll make some new ones. Anyone care to contribute? After he's totally fucked the proceeds will go to a Planned Parenthood clinic in Texas if there are any left.
This does feel like a Beta. I guess all the fundie bugs will be taken out before going gold.
That would be an excellent prank.
She tried praying to God - somehow the call got routed to Morgan Freeman.
There's really not much to say after that. :>)
I love a happy ending.
Ask Tebow's parents for advice.
No,he said GOOD at sports.
Yes, really. Martin Luther King Jr dead, and this man is still alive?
She probably didn't send Pat enough money in her prayer offering.
Advise her to squeeze her eyes tightly shut. Jeebus only listens to Robertson when he performs this part of the ritual.