We were so very glad that CPAC was over, but we forgot that there would be post-CPAC pieces until everything turns into a SXSW thinkpiece, which doesn't happen until about 3: 30 am tomorrow. Sorry. The very worst of the post-CPAC thinkings, though, has already been barfed up onto the internet and you will not at all be surprised to learn that it is from the Daily Caller's Patrick Howley. Howley has hurled himself against the brick wall that is his own deep unfunniness and the brick wall wins every goddamn time. This is no exception, as he's shown up with a Buzzfeed-type listicle about all the types of dudes that will
<i>I met her at the Heritage Foundation Christmas party.</i>&hellip;.
No way that story is going to end well.
I am still trying to figure out what this means, &quot;if only by comparison.&quot;
WTF, does that mean she&#039;s only hot when stood next to little gerbil-human hybrids?
Grover Norquist IS pretty sexy, when you think about it.
-- Florida Bug Eyed Dog Molester Guy
So the boy got his Ashe hauled.
The Schow must go on...
Did Howley borrow James Keefe&#039;s pimp outfit? Because it sure didn&#039;t work for Keefe, either.
What school is that? My sister goes to another school - maybe she knows her?
Hey - they have MySpace in Canada! What&#039;s her name? I&#039;ll ask my sister to check her out.
I had a girl friend but she died in a terrible accident. Worst kiln explosion in school history!
The real question is: How terribad was her ex?
He&#039;s going to be pretty happy when he finds out...
She looked hot compared to Grover Norquist? Does that mean five o&#039;clock shadow instead of a full beard?
When dating, remember: what would Machiavelli or Nixon do?
Pat was a total freak in the sheets.
The amount of fucks I give about this asshat is not a cosmic number.
Evidently, until she comes across something better. I give her until Thursday.
I am now deeply saddened for my entire species. You know, the Canadian species.
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