Pentagon Starting To Leak About What A Loser F*ckup Pete Kegseth Really Is
What typo in headline? We see no typo in headline.
Here we go, and hey-o! We were wondering when the leaking would start, now that Signal-Gate is showing America and the whole entire world what absolutely incompetent, impotent buffoons the Trump administration is really full of. We really really were wondering when the leaks would start coming out of the Pentagon, about Major Dumbass AKA Secretary Shitfaced AKA Pete Kegseth, we mean Hegseth, we mean Kegseth. After all, Donald Trump might not realize it, because Trump doesn’t care about American national security, but the Defense secretary’s actions in that Signal thread are by far the bigger scandal than what National Security Advisor Mike Waltz did when he added the Atlantic editor to the unsecured chat, like a complete dipshit.
What that did was alert the world to how loosely Major Dumbass AKA Secretary Shitfaced AKA Pete Kegseth was playing with American troops’ lives and classified war attack battle bombs go boom! plans. (He wants us to believe there’s some big difference about the exact terminology there.)
We were curious from the beginning how the Pentagon would accept this loser fuckup being in charge, if they’d betray everything they ever fought for to fall in line behind this walking cycle of abuse. Pete Hegseth has been on the job for barely two months.
Then came Signal-Gate. The leaks have started, and whoa.
![THOSE War Plans? Pete Hegseth Didn’t Know You Meant THOSE [hic] War Plans](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8rnj!,w_140,h_140,c_fill,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep,g_auto/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fbb01e885-c6e1-4841-8d3d-4e2eb2dad8a8_1068x606.png)
The first article we’ve seen is from CNN, but by the time you read there, there might be more. Natasha Bertrand and her colleagues bring us an article with the headline “Concerns about Hegseth’s judgment come roaring back after group chat scandal,” and the big thing we notice is just how many currently serving individuals they talked to. In fact, most of the quotes in this article come from current officials.
Obviously nobody is talking on the record. The military is more tight-lipped than anybody else, probably. However, we’re all used to those articles from the first Trump administration where “former defense and national security officials” would be sounding the alarm that so-and-so Trump person is a joke and a fraud and a traitor and a fuckin’ moron. Powerful, but not as powerful as when they’re talking to current officials. So please note that this CNN article is sourced from former and current officials, and some of the most damning assessments come from current officials.
About what Major Dumbass did, and how literally anybody else in the military would be treated if guilty of the same offense, this current official says:
“It is safe to say that anybody in uniform would be court-martialed for this,” a defense official told CNN. “My most junior analysts know not to do this.”
Maybe Pete Hegseth isn’t as qualified to run the Pentagon as that official’s most junior analysts.
Some current officials are calling out how substance-free Hegseth is, saying he’s more concerned with looking all big and tough and manly and “lethal,” less concerned with, you know, actually doing things:
Several DoD officials told CNN that Hegseth seems more preoccupied with appearances than with substance—wanting to appear more “lethal” than his predecessor and pulling resources from elsewhere in DoD to achieve that image.
One Pentagon official CNN talked to referred to how Kegseth deployed all these troops to the Mexican border, to do … what? Apparently a lot of “just standing around.” They continued:
The deployments to the border are “clearly more about optics,” the defense official said. The official added that diverting troops and assets to patrol a mostly peaceful border was actually drawing them away from training exercises that could improve overall combat readiness.
Lookin’ tough vs. doing things: We know which one Secretary Shitfaced prefers!
Hegseth has been insisting that the bomby-bomby details he shared in that Signal chat weren’t classified, as if it makes sense in any universe that any details about any military operation that is imminently about to happen wouldn’t be classified, Jesus Christ, my fucking ass.
Four sources CNN spoke to agree that Jesus Christ, my fucking ass:
[F]our people familiar with the matter told CNN that the information Hegseth disclosed on the Houthi group chat was classified, despite the administration’s claims to the contrary. One of the people said they saw documents sent within DoD about the operation, which were marked classified and included the same information Hegseth disclosed in the Signal chat about specific weapons platforms and timing.
“It was classified when it was shared below the principal level,” this person said.
We’re sure the former “Fox & Friends” weekend host remembered to declassify all the battle plans two hours before the bombs started dropping, because that’s just good Army-ing. Maybe he declassified it in his mind, like Donald Trump did with all those classified documents he stole and took to the toilets at Mar-a-Lago!
As for other ways Pete Hegseth has been wasting God’s and America’s time and making us less safe, one defense official spoke to CNN about all Hegseth’s pathetically stupid DEI purges, as he makes sure to rid DoD websites of pictures of the “Enola Gay,” information about Navajo code talkers, Bea Arthur, and literally anything else that suggests anybody other than a white supremacist Christian Nazi man has ever Made America Great Again.
“Of all the things they could be doing, the places they’re putting their focuses on first are really things that just don’t matter … This was literally a waste of our time,” a defense official told CNN of the content purge. “This does absolutely nothing to make us stronger, more lethal, better prepared.”
He’s just a fucking joke. Nothing more, nothing less.
Is this the “merit” these white racist MAGA trashfucks have been telling us about, the excellence we’ve been missing out on by allowing women and LGBTQ+ people and racial minorities to sully Pete Hegseth’s beautiful military?
Or is this the kind of white conservative male mediocrity that good DEI policies help to prevent from rising to the top? As one official told CNN of the whole Signal fiasco, “This is all indicative of his utter inexperience.” (For comparison’s sake, CNN’s article helpfully reminds us of Hegseth’s most recent predecessors’ resumes, because they actually have them.)
You know, we’ve been wondering if large swaths of the US military might be ready to ignore and/or outright defy any illegal orders that might come from Trump through Kegseth — our keyboard keeps doing that! — or directly from him, trying to impress Daddy.
You know, dumb, sick, illegal shit like “invade Canada and Greenland!” or “attack the American people at Tesla protests!”
It’s getting easier and easier to imagine.
[CNN]
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Fasc, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
“Some current officials are calling out how substance-free Hegseth is”
I see what you did there