Phil Robertson, the dry drunk tsar of the Dynasty of Duck, stopped by your boyfriend Gordon Klingenschmitt's "Pray In Jesus Name" variety hour for an interview recently, and revealed his plans for getting Donald Trump's spiritual house in order, plus loads of other interesting things.
So ISIS hates us for our abortions, and Phil Robertson wants us to surrender to ISIS by banning abortions. Have I got that right?
Also Phil, Trump's got some bangable blonde preacher who's into rich guys with a long history of fraud for his spiritual advisor -- you're gonna have to bring a lot more to the table than a permed Ayatollah Khomeini beard and some homeless guy talk.
This is why I reject born agains. Just hit the reset button. At least 12 step folks have to go on an apology tour. Born agains just claim they are good with God and fuck you for judging them on their past behavoir. Uh, nope
Trump's kids'll push for Phil. Those duck calls bring all the ducks to them, and Eric and Donald, Jr. can blow the shit out of them so they can be mounted on their walls.
Yeah, none of that having to atone for all the nasty crap you did in the past year on Yom Kippur every single year. No taking responsibility for your own actions, yet screaming that everyone else should practice personal responsibility. You're a sinner, but you're forgiven because you pray to a torture loving scumbag of a deity, so do what the fuck you want and fuck the heathens!
Reason #95720316325498002734 why I despise the christer delusion with every fiber of my being.
And those shades and that thing he wears on his head, just so statesman-like. If this guy came walking towards you on a dark street and you had a second amendment in your pocket, would you bother to ask any questions? Not me.
Maybe Phil Robertson should be in Donald Trump’s cabinet. Him, a couple Real Housewives, a Kardashian or two, Honey Boo-Boo and that Chad guy from this season of The Bachelorette…
We jest, but THAT RIGHT THERE is what terrifies me. Because this is Trump we're talking about, and the shitload of ignorant motherfuckers that will vote for him.
Trump should turn snake-handler!
So ISIS hates us for our abortions, and Phil Robertson wants us to surrender to ISIS by banning abortions. Have I got that right?
Also Phil, Trump's got some bangable blonde preacher who's into rich guys with a long history of fraud for his spiritual advisor -- you're gonna have to bring a lot more to the table than a permed Ayatollah Khomeini beard and some homeless guy talk.
A stoned Bill Maher would also be entertaining in that mix.
"Life is precious..." unless it's a duck.
Depends. How long is her beard?
This is why I reject born agains. Just hit the reset button. At least 12 step folks have to go on an apology tour. Born agains just claim they are good with God and fuck you for judging them on their past behavoir. Uh, nope
Trump's kids'll push for Phil. Those duck calls bring all the ducks to them, and Eric and Donald, Jr. can blow the shit out of them so they can be mounted on their walls.
Hey! We need a Track update!
Yeah, none of that having to atone for all the nasty crap you did in the past year on Yom Kippur every single year. No taking responsibility for your own actions, yet screaming that everyone else should practice personal responsibility. You're a sinner, but you're forgiven because you pray to a torture loving scumbag of a deity, so do what the fuck you want and fuck the heathens!
Reason #95720316325498002734 why I despise the christer delusion with every fiber of my being.
"I hate fake red-necks"! (Bob the Doberman)
Josh Duggar!!
Forgive me for being "that guy", but it's *Busey*. I'll grant you, pretty long odds that he himself remembers that, but still.
It's in Article XII of the Constitution.
*I legit typed "teh" at first, and almost left it.
And those shades and that thing he wears on his head, just so statesman-like. If this guy came walking towards you on a dark street and you had a second amendment in your pocket, would you bother to ask any questions? Not me.
What do you think this is, teh Enlightenment?
Maybe Phil Robertson should be in Donald Trump’s cabinet. Him, a couple Real Housewives, a Kardashian or two, Honey Boo-Boo and that Chad guy from this season of The Bachelorette…
We jest, but THAT RIGHT THERE is what terrifies me. Because this is Trump we're talking about, and the shitload of ignorant motherfuckers that will vote for him.